The Poison of Bitterness

Bitterness is a poison that destroys the physical and spiritual health of an individual.  

Someone said, “Bitterness is like the acid you have inside that you want to spew on others; but it may well eat you alive before you get the chance.”

In April, 1995, Bud Welch’s 23-year-old daughter, Julie, was killed in the bombing of the Murrah Federal Bldg in Oklahoma City.  Three days after the bombing, Bud watched Tim McVeigh being led out of the courthouse, & hoped someone would shoot him dead.  Bud wanted him to fry.  In fact, Bud said: I’d have killed him myself if I’d had the chance.

Unable to deal with the pain of Julie’s death, Bud started self-medicating with alcohol until eventually the hangovers were lasting all day.  Then, on a cold day in Jan., 1996, Bud came to the bombsite – as he did every day – & he looked across the wasteland where the Murrah Building once stood.  His head was splitting from drinking the night before & he thought, “I have to do something different, because what I’m doing isn’t working”.

For the next few weeks Bud started to reconcile things in his mind, & finally concluded that it was revenge & hate that had killed Julie & the 167 others.  Tim McVeigh & Terry Nichols had been against the US government for what happened in Waco, TX, in 1993 & seeing what they’d done with their vengeance, Bud knew he had to send his in a different direction.  Shortly afterwards Bud started speaking out against the death penalty.

  

In Dec 1998, after Tim McVeigh had been sentenced to death, Bud had a chance to meet Tim McVeigh’s father, Bill, at his home.  Bud wanted to show Bill that he did not blame him.   Bill's daughter also wanted to meet Bud; the 3 of them sat around the kitchen table.  Up on the wall were family snapshots, including Tim’s graduation picture.  Bud said, “What a good looking kid.”

Earlier Bill had asked Bud, “Bud, are u able to cry?”  Bud had told him, “I don’t usually have a problem crying”.  Bill said, “I can’t cry, even tho I’ve got a lot to cry about”.   But now, sitting in the kitchen looking at Tim’s photo, a big tear rolled down his face.  It was the love of a father for a son.

When Bud got ready to leave he shook Bill’s hand, then extended it to Bill's daughter, Jennifer, but she just grabbed Bud & threw her arms around him.  She was almost the age as Julie but felt taller to Bud.  Bud didn’t know which one of them started crying first.  Then Bud held her face in his hands & said, “Look, honey, the 3 of us are in this for the rest of our lives.  I don’t want your brother to die & I’ll do everything I can to prevent it.”  As Bud walked away he realized that until that moment he’d walked alone, but now a tremendous weight had lifted from his shoulders. 

About a year before the execution, Bud found it in his heart to forgive Tim McVeigh.  It was a release for Bud rather than for Tim McVeigh.

Revenge & bitterness are poisons that will eat you from the inside out.  Forgiveness is the key that releases bitterness.

Ephesians 4: 32 says, “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  Jesus said, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy" (Matthew 5:7).