Why Fathers Matter

Last month, I had the chance to meet & hear a young man who’s running for office.  He happened to sit next to me, & we had the chance to talk before the meeting started.  I asked him if he had a family.  He shared that he & his wife have 2 young children, & are preparing to have a third child.  I smiled & said, Oh, those are good years for children.  Some of my favorite memories of our children are when they were that age.  He quickly agreed.  He runs a small business.  When he spoke to the group, he spoke very passionately about his beliefs about government, faith, & marriage. 

After the meeting ended, I encouraged him that whether he won or lost the election, to spend time with his children while they’re young.  I said, your children will be this young only for a limited number of years, & this is the period when a father can have the most influence.  The time that a father invests in his children when they are young, will pay dividends later.  He seemed touched, & said that that was so true.

When our son was in high school, he was in a youth ministry in which he taught & mentored boys ages 6-10.  Later, when he was in college, he wrote a term paper about the importance of fathers.  In the paper, he wrote about the behavior & decisions that he observed in these young boys.  He described how without exception, the boys who behaved well & made good decisions, had a positive role model for a father in the home.  The boys who misbehaved & made bad decisions, had a negative role model for a father or had no father in the home. 

Chuck Colson was one of the top officials in the Pres. Richard Nixon administration & was caught up in the Watergate scandal of the 1970s.  So it was very humbling for him to find himself in a prison cell, but his experience in that prison cell lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  After he was released from prison, he began a ministry for prisoners.  He initiated Bible studies & programs for prisoners; his ministry called Prison Fellowship grew & grew.  Colson invested decades of his life into prisoners.  He also read studies of prisoners.  He discovered that the thousands of men in prison had virtually nothing in common, except for one thing.  Every man in prison had a negative role model for a father or no father in the home. 

That’s right.  When a boy grows up in a home with a positive role model for a father, he learns positive values & learns to make good decisions.  That’s why I have a heart for fathers of young children.  When I meet a man who had young children, I encourage him to spend time with his children.  Young children will learn so much from watching their parents. 

That’s why fathers matter.  That’s why fathers are so important.  Fathers have the influence to shape the next generation.  When our children became teens & then young adults, they made decisions that were so much wiser than the decisions that I made at their ages.  It was humbling for me, but watching them also made me proud.  It all started when our children were babies, toddlers, & then young children, playing with them & showing them what a man does.  If you know a father of young children, please, for the sake of those children, encourage him to invest time in his children.  Happy Fathers’ Day! 

Stories That Bind Our Families

Colossians 3:14 says, And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 

In Sept., Readers Digest had a report on researchers who studied the ingredients make some families resilient and happy.  One learning-disabilities specialist said, The students “who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges.”  Two researchers used a Do You Know survey of 20 questions, such as Do you know where your grandparents grew up?  Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school?  Do you know about an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family?   They concluded: “The more children knew about their families’ histories, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem.”  Another study showed the same: The children who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient.

Why does knowing where her grandmother went to school help a child overcome a skinned knee or a horrible attack?  It turns out that the children who have the most self-confidence, know they belong to something bigger than themselves.

The holidays are a time when families of all generations, get together.  When you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table, share your stories of growing up with the children in your family.  Honor your parents (Exodus 20:12) and grandparents by asking them to share about what their lives were like when they were growing up. 

2 Tim. 1:5  I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

Some readers will recognize this song:

Bind us together, Lord, bind us together with cords that cannot be broken. 

Bind us together, Lord, bind us together, Lord, bind us together, in love.

Use your family gatherings over the holidays, to share stories that bind our families together.