Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Why Fathers Matter


Last month, I had the chance to meet & hear a young man who’s running for office.  He happened to sit next to me, & we had the chance to talk before the meeting started.  I asked him if he had a family.  He shared that he & his wife have 2 young children, & are preparing to have a third child.  I smiled & said, Oh, those are good years for children.  Some of my favorite memories of our children are when they were that age.  He quickly agreed.  He runs a small business.  When he spoke to the group, he spoke very passionately about his beliefs about government, faith, & marriage. 

After the meeting ended, I encouraged him that whether he won or lost the election, to spend time with his children while they’re young.  I said, your children will be this young only for a limited number of years, & this is the period when a father can have the most influence.  The time that a father invests in his children when they are young, will pay dividends later.  He seemed touched, & said that that was so true.

When our son was in high school, he was in a youth ministry in which he taught & mentored boys ages 6-10.  Later, when he was in college, he wrote a term paper about the importance of fathers.  In the paper, he wrote about the behavior & decisions that he observed in these young boys.  He described how without exception, the boys who behaved well & made good decisions, had a positive role model for a father in the home.  The boys who misbehaved & made bad decisions, had a negative role model for a father or had no father in the home. 

Chuck Colson was one of the top officials in the Pres. Richard Nixon administration & was caught up in the Watergate scandal of the 1970s.  So it was very humbling for him to find himself in a prison cell, but his experience in that prison cell lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  After he was released from prison, he began a ministry for prisoners.  He initiated Bible studies & programs for prisoners; his ministry called Prison Fellowship grew & grew.  Colson invested decades of his life into prisoners.  He also read studies of prisoners.  He discovered that the thousands of men in prison had virtually nothing in common, except for one thing.  Every man in prison had a negative role model for a father or no father in the home. 

That’s right.  When a boy grows up in a home with a positive role model for a father, he learns positive values & learns to make good decisions.  That’s why I have a heart for fathers of young children.  When I meet a man who had young children, I encourage him to spend time with his children.  Young children will learn so much from watching their parents. 

That’s why fathers matter.  That’s why fathers are so important.  Fathers have the influence to shape the next generation.  When our children became teens & then young adults, they made decisions that were so much wiser than the decisions that I made at their ages.  It was humbling for me, but watching them also made me proud.  It all started when our children were babies, toddlers, & then young children, playing with them & showing them what a man does.  If you know a father of young children, please, for the sake of those children, encourage him to invest time in his children.  Happy Fathers’ Day! 


Monday, February 10, 2014

Love & Marriage at Valentines Day

Valentines Day is this week.  (Have you thought of how you're going to express your love for your beloved?)   This is a time when romance seems to be in the air and many couples think of getting married.

Did you know that married couples tend to be better off financially than single folks?  Marriage reduces poverty and financial hardship for disadvantaged mothers and children, and cohabitation is less likely to reduce poverty than marriage.  Alternatively, parental failure to marry or divorce seems to increase children's risk of failing in school.   (from http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/images/research/NMW30Conclusions.pdf)  Overall, married couples enjoy more financial stability than singles.

So... don't let the cost of a wedding keep you from getting married.  I believe that the ceremony's meaning is more important than a fashion show.  The quality of the bride and groom's relationship is what's going to matter in the long run.  The relationship is more important than a fancy shindig.  The reception, pictures, beautiful clothes, wedding location are all secondary to the marital relationship, especially in determining whether the marriage is going to last in the long run.  One of the most meaningful weddings that I've seen, consisted of the bride and groom, their immediate families and a few close friends, standing in a circle in the front of the sanctuary, while the couple exchanged vows before God.

It is possible and meaningful to get married in a modest or low-cost wedding.  Feb. 7-12 is National Marriage Week.  See http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/affordableweddings for affordable wedding ideas.

Above all else, remember the words of I Corinthians 13:4-7, in which Paul describes agape love.
        Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not     
        dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love 
        does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always 
        hopes, always perseveres.
Paul wrote this to all the believers in the Corinthian church, which makes it apply to all Christ-followers today, not just newlywed couples.  If you're a not in a romantic relationship, look for how you might  share a bit of God's love.  Could you give a non-romantic gift to a friend because you appreciate him/ her?  Could you treat a friend to a Pepsi and dessert or a meal?   Send a friendship card expressing what you like about her/him?  

Agape love is God's giving, sacrificial love - the kind of love needed in EVERY relationship.   
P.S. There's still time for you to tell your beloved how much you love her/him!