Why Fathers Matter

Last month, I had the chance to meet & hear a young man who’s running for office.  He happened to sit next to me, & we had the chance to talk before the meeting started.  I asked him if he had a family.  He shared that he & his wife have 2 young children, & are preparing to have a third child.  I smiled & said, Oh, those are good years for children.  Some of my favorite memories of our children are when they were that age.  He quickly agreed.  He runs a small business.  When he spoke to the group, he spoke very passionately about his beliefs about government, faith, & marriage. 

After the meeting ended, I encouraged him that whether he won or lost the election, to spend time with his children while they’re young.  I said, your children will be this young only for a limited number of years, & this is the period when a father can have the most influence.  The time that a father invests in his children when they are young, will pay dividends later.  He seemed touched, & said that that was so true.

When our son was in high school, he was in a youth ministry in which he taught & mentored boys ages 6-10.  Later, when he was in college, he wrote a term paper about the importance of fathers.  In the paper, he wrote about the behavior & decisions that he observed in these young boys.  He described how without exception, the boys who behaved well & made good decisions, had a positive role model for a father in the home.  The boys who misbehaved & made bad decisions, had a negative role model for a father or had no father in the home. 

Chuck Colson was one of the top officials in the Pres. Richard Nixon administration & was caught up in the Watergate scandal of the 1970s.  So it was very humbling for him to find himself in a prison cell, but his experience in that prison cell lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  After he was released from prison, he began a ministry for prisoners.  He initiated Bible studies & programs for prisoners; his ministry called Prison Fellowship grew & grew.  Colson invested decades of his life into prisoners.  He also read studies of prisoners.  He discovered that the thousands of men in prison had virtually nothing in common, except for one thing.  Every man in prison had a negative role model for a father or no father in the home. 

That’s right.  When a boy grows up in a home with a positive role model for a father, he learns positive values & learns to make good decisions.  That’s why I have a heart for fathers of young children.  When I meet a man who had young children, I encourage him to spend time with his children.  Young children will learn so much from watching their parents. 

That’s why fathers matter.  That’s why fathers are so important.  Fathers have the influence to shape the next generation.  When our children became teens & then young adults, they made decisions that were so much wiser than the decisions that I made at their ages.  It was humbling for me, but watching them also made me proud.  It all started when our children were babies, toddlers, & then young children, playing with them & showing them what a man does.  If you know a father of young children, please, for the sake of those children, encourage him to invest time in his children.  Happy Fathers’ Day! 

God seeks to be reunited with his children.

A couple years ago, I read a book (The Radio Signal) by a German-American - Friedhelm Radandt.  Friedhelm Radandt was a child in Germany during Hitler's rise to power in the 1930s.  His father refused to enroll him and his older brother in the Nazi school for teenage boys, and because of that, his father lost his job, & their family had to move.  Friedhelm also had 2 older sisters.

In the early part of WW 2, Friedhelm's older brother enlisted in the Nazi program for teenage officers, against his parents' wishes.  Shortly after that, he disappeared on the motorcycle the Nazis provided for teenage officers.  Friedhelm was about 7-8 years old when he too became separated from his family because an approaching army, but was reunited a day or two later.  His sister was a children's nanny for another family when they had to flee a quickly approaching army.  His siblings were separated from his parents because of the war, as many families were separated in Europe during WW 2.

At the end of the war, Friedhelm and his parents were living just West of Germany.  Like many fathers who had been separated from his children, his father wanted to see his young adult children back in his home again.  So he began writing letters to any government official in any place that any of his children might be.  He wrote letter after letter after letter after letter.  When a returning letter informed him of where one of his children were, he traveled to that place to rescue his child and bring him home again.  After months and months of this, Friedhelm's 2 sisters were reunited with his family.

Then they learned that Friedhelm's brother was being held in prison along with other German soldiers just East of Germany, in an area occupied by the Soviet army.  His father traveled across the area held by Allied forces, to just across a river from the prison.  The river along the prison was the line between the Allied forces and the area held by the Soviet army.  Friedhelm's father sent a secret message to his son who snuck out of the prison during the night & managed to escape across the river without being seen, to be reunited with his father, & together they traveled back to join the rest of their family.

The point is that Friedhelm's father went through many steps, some of which were costly & risky, to be reunited with all his children after the war.  In a similar way, God went through many steps to be reunited with his children.  Sending his Son to be born in humble circumstances was the costliest & riskiest thing that God did, to rescue his children & be reunited with them.

We're separated from God by our sin which is like cancer; it's awful, painful & destructive.  Prior to Christ, in the latter part of the Old Testament, it became clear that the old Jewish system of sacrifices, was not enough to restore God's people to Him.  That system had become abused by selfish people who took advantage of the poor & gave special privileges to the wealthy.

In the journey of life, sometimes one reaches the point where one wishes to be reunited with lost family members.  Would you like to be reunited with your spiritual family?  Would you like to develop a relationship with your heavenly Father?

If you've come to the point in your life where you can see your need for help to overcome your problems & sins, you can be reunited with your heavenly Parent through the help of Jesus.  Admit your sins and weaknesses, to be reunited with God, and trust in his Spirit to help you.  If you want to learn more, read the Gospel of John in the New Testament in the Bible.

Lost and Found

Luke 15 has 3 of Jesus’ parables.  First, Jesus told of a sheep that was lost.  The shepherd goes and finds the lost sheep.  Then he calls his friends together and said,  “Let’s celebrate because my sheep was lost and now is found.”

Then Jesus told of a woman who lost a silver coin.  She searches high and low, and finally finds the lost coin.  Then she called her friends and said, “Let’s have a party because my coin was lost and now is found!”

Then Jesus told of a man who had 2 sons.  One son asked for his inheritance early, and went and wasted it in a foreign country.  When he came to his senses, he remembered his father and decided to return to his father.  When he got home, his father called his friends and said, “Let’s have a party because my son was lost and now is found!”

The older son was working in the back forty.  He came home and heard music and dancing.  He called a servant who said, “Oh your father is so glad because your brother was lost but now is found.”

The older brother became angry and refused to go into the party.  So his father came out and pleaded with him.  But he said, “All these years I’ve been slaving for you, and did you ever throw a party for me and my friends?  I’ll tell you the party we got; it’s called work!”  The father said, “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.  But we had to celebrate and be glad, because your brother was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

The Loving Father represents God’s love and forgiveness.  When we go to God humbly and admitting our sin, God, in his mercy and grace, treats us like the father who welcomed back the rebellious son.  Let us go and do likewise.

The older brother represents self-righteous individuals.   His attitude shows that his obedience to his father had been years of grim duty, not loving service.  If you’re struggling with grim duty, let your heart be found by the gracious Father.

Of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son, only the son deliberately got lost, callously turning his back on his father.  But God’s love can defeat the deliberate rebellion of the heart.  Why not turn to the Loving Father today?  He is waiting and watching for you.  Go into his gracious presence today.

Christmas & Fathers: 4 lessons from Joseph

By Dr. Corne J. Becker  Published December 24, 2014

Mary, the mother of Jesus, features prominently in our Christmas celebrations. Christmas carols, greeting cards and nativity reenactments all celebrate the important role she played in the birth of the Messiah. But what about Joseph? What does the Christmas story say about the role of fathers?

The Gospel of Matthew, written in the second half of the first century to a predominantly Jewish audience, places Joseph at the center of the birth of Christ. Complimentary to the Gospel of Luke where most of the activity centers on Mary, Matthew reports that it is Joseph that is instructed by an angel in a dream not to call off his impending marriage to Mary. Joseph is pictured as a decisive leader, protector and provider for his family in this Gospel.

The birth narratives of Jesus in Matthew, not only highlights the importance of family as the building block of a stable society, but also communicates the importance of fathers in the raising of children. With Joseph as our example, four lessons for fathers can be taken from this Christmas story.

First, to be a father is not just a biological description. Joseph was not the physical father of Jesus, but as instructed by the angel took Mary as his wife and provided a home for Jesus. Being a father is a matter of the heart. Joseph is a great role model for those fathers that have chosen to raise non-biological children as their own. Fathers create homes for children by enlarging their hearts and providing a safe and nurturing environment for them.

Second, fathers model good values to their children. Matthew calls Joseph a just man. This is in sharp contrast to the wicked Herod in the same Gospel, who kills numerous boys in his narcissistic rage as he attempts to remove the pending threat of the birth of the King of the Jews. We are inundated with so many painful recollections of fathers that did not match the expectations of their children.  Good fathers embody the moral and hopeful ideals of their children. They model the way.

Third, fathers do all in their power to protect their family. Joseph, warned in a dream about the murderous plans of Herod, moves his family to the safety of Egypt. This selfless act of Joseph illustrates what good fathers do best – they place the interest of their families above their own.

Lastly, fathers provide a future for their children. Once again, Matthew records that Joseph in returning from Egypt scanned the environment and decided to move Jesus and Mary to Galilee, far from the watchful eye of Archelaus, the ruler that succeeded Herod. Good fathers recognize that fathering does not end when children turn of age. Fathers consider the future of their children beyond their own mortality and work to provide a prosperous and successful future for them.

Perhaps the time has come to reconsider the role of Joseph in our celebration of Christmas. May we rediscover not only his good example, but the stabilizing and transformative effect that good fathers have on children, families and societies.

Dr. Corne J. Bekker is a professor & Dept Chair of Biblical Studies & Christian Ministry at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Va.
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2014/12/24/christmas-and-fathers-four-lessons-from-gospel-matthew/   

Remembering My Father

My father, Bernard John Schreurs, died 30 years ago this month, on Nov. 11, 1984.  So I'm posting this in his honor.

Dad was born on Feb. 19, 1917, the first of 4 children to Ben & Effie Schreurs.   He was raised on a dairy farm near Cedar Grove, Wisc., when farm work was done by hand and by horses.  He loved horses, and his father trained 2 colts every year, to work together as a team.  He attended Maple Grove School, a one-room school.  As a young man, he worked on several dairy farms.

On Sept. 8, 1949, Benard married Margaret.   Jim was born in ’52, and Wendell in ’55.  Leon Jonathan was born in ’57 but died of pneumonia 2 years later; the minister once told me that it was the hardest funeral he ever did.  My sister Ann came along in ’58, and me 2 years later.  Grandpa Schreurs died of a heart attack in 1961.

Dad started working in a factory that made Mercury outboard motors for boats; he showed us around the factory one time.  My sister Karen was born in ’62 and Jane in ’65. 

My grandparents went to First Reformed Church in Cedar Grove, and so did we.  Dad didn’t say much about religion; saying the Lord’s Prayer at meals and going to church was enough.  When I was 5, Grandma Schreurs passed away.

There were joyous times too.  In Sept., 1974, Jim married Sue.  A week later, Mom & Dad celebrated their 25^th anniversary.  In the next few years, 2 grandchildren, Dale & Dawn, were born.  In ’77, Wendell married Patti.

In 1978, Mom was diagnosed with cancer and died on May 6 which was probably the hardest day in Dad’s life.  I still recall his tears.  In the next 3 years, Ann, Karen, & I moved away to attend college.  Looking back later, it seemed like Dad aged a lot in those years in which his family shrank so quickly.

The factory closed in 1980, and Dad took an early retirement.  A year later, his health declining and unable to take care of himself, Dad reluctantly moved into a retirement center.  It was hard for me to visit him there.

Ann got married in 1984, and at the reception, I remember Dad proudly introducing me to his friends as his son who was in seminary, studying to become a minister.  As I thought about that later – his bragging about my becoming a minister – that said something positive about his faith.

In Nov. that year, he was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus but was spared from suffering because he died of heart failure in his sleep, on Nov. 11.  He was buried on a cold, cloudy day.  Life is short.  Psalm 39:5 says, “The span of my years is nothing before [God].  Each man’s life is but a breath.”

After you’ve died and gone, what difference will your life have made?  I believe that values like faith, hope, love, joy, & peace will matter in the long run.  After you’re gone, those things will last far beyond anything that can rust or rot.  In Matthew 7, Jesus told the story of the wise and foolish builders.  Are you building your life on the rock or the sand?  What legacy are you leaving for your family & friends?  After you’ve been dead for a while, what will people remember about you?

P.S.   Our son, Jonathan David was named after his grandfathers; John is an old family name on the Schreurs side.  Jane’s father is David Stevenson.  Our daughter Megan Leigh is named after her grandmothers.  Megan is the Irish (red hair!) form of Margaret; Jane’s Mom’s middle name was Lee.