Why Fathers Matter

Last month, I had the chance to meet & hear a young man who’s running for office.  He happened to sit next to me, & we had the chance to talk before the meeting started.  I asked him if he had a family.  He shared that he & his wife have 2 young children, & are preparing to have a third child.  I smiled & said, Oh, those are good years for children.  Some of my favorite memories of our children are when they were that age.  He quickly agreed.  He runs a small business.  When he spoke to the group, he spoke very passionately about his beliefs about government, faith, & marriage. 

After the meeting ended, I encouraged him that whether he won or lost the election, to spend time with his children while they’re young.  I said, your children will be this young only for a limited number of years, & this is the period when a father can have the most influence.  The time that a father invests in his children when they are young, will pay dividends later.  He seemed touched, & said that that was so true.

When our son was in high school, he was in a youth ministry in which he taught & mentored boys ages 6-10.  Later, when he was in college, he wrote a term paper about the importance of fathers.  In the paper, he wrote about the behavior & decisions that he observed in these young boys.  He described how without exception, the boys who behaved well & made good decisions, had a positive role model for a father in the home.  The boys who misbehaved & made bad decisions, had a negative role model for a father or had no father in the home. 

Chuck Colson was one of the top officials in the Pres. Richard Nixon administration & was caught up in the Watergate scandal of the 1970s.  So it was very humbling for him to find himself in a prison cell, but his experience in that prison cell lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  After he was released from prison, he began a ministry for prisoners.  He initiated Bible studies & programs for prisoners; his ministry called Prison Fellowship grew & grew.  Colson invested decades of his life into prisoners.  He also read studies of prisoners.  He discovered that the thousands of men in prison had virtually nothing in common, except for one thing.  Every man in prison had a negative role model for a father or no father in the home. 

That’s right.  When a boy grows up in a home with a positive role model for a father, he learns positive values & learns to make good decisions.  That’s why I have a heart for fathers of young children.  When I meet a man who had young children, I encourage him to spend time with his children.  Young children will learn so much from watching their parents. 

That’s why fathers matter.  That’s why fathers are so important.  Fathers have the influence to shape the next generation.  When our children became teens & then young adults, they made decisions that were so much wiser than the decisions that I made at their ages.  It was humbling for me, but watching them also made me proud.  It all started when our children were babies, toddlers, & then young children, playing with them & showing them what a man does.  If you know a father of young children, please, for the sake of those children, encourage him to invest time in his children.  Happy Fathers’ Day! 

The Habit of Eating

Luke 7:34 says, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’”

If an unbeliever invites you over to dinner at his/her home, do you accept?  If you do accept, does your presence at their table mean that you agree with all of their values?  Well, if you were a good, righteous Jew in the New Testament, you absolutely did not.  Jews did not associate with anyone of a different religion or different social class.  For example, a Jew would not eat with Gentiles or Samaritans.  That’s why, in John 4, when Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, it was so radical for Jesus to ask her for a drink.  Jews did not ask a Samaritan for anything.

But Jesus turned the rules upside down.  Jesus ate and drank with sinners, drunkards, fraudulent tax-collectors, and prostitutes.  In Luke 19, Jesus attended a dinner at the home of a fraudulent tax-collector named Zacchaeus.  There is no evidence that Jesus criticized or condemned the tax-collector's business practices.  After the dinner, Zacchaeus felt convicted and announced that he would pay back everyone he cheated and pay them back many times over.  He also said that he was going to follow Jesus.  

Michael Frost tells the story of a Baptist pastor who told him that his neighbor claimed to make the best margaritas in the whole state, & regularly hosted margarita & poker nights in his garage.  All the men in the neighborhood attended, except for this Baptist who never accepted an invitation to join them, believing that to be a strong witness to his faith. Michael asked him how many times his neighbor had asked him any questions about his faith in Christ.  He said, Never.  Michael asked how often he’d ever shared anything of his faith his margarita-making neighbor.  Again, the Baptist said, Never.  You see, it’s not questionable when a Baptist refuses to attend a margarita & poker night.  It’s expected.

Michael challenged this Baptist pastor to accept the next invitation he received, & he did.

His neighbor almost fell over in shock.  The Baptist joined the gathering in the garage, & true to his conviction, he just drank soda pop.  No one minded.  He ended up having more conversations about faith than he’d had in ages.  A Baptist pastor at a margarita night is a surprise, & it led to questions about faith. 😊

Now, I’m not recommending that you need to go a margarita night.  But I do believe that the Lord would have us eat with unbelievers.  Don’t feel a need to judge the lifestyles or habits of others.  See it as an opportunity to just share a little love & grace as you build relationships. 

Follow Jesus’ example of sharing a meal first & see what it leads to.

Share Your Good News & You Will Be Better

An article entitled Share Your Good News & You Will Be Better by Emma Seppala, describes psychologists' research on the joys of sharing joy.  Of course we share our joys, right? We enjoy being joyful, right?

In fact, the article explains that while most of us have 3 times as many positive experiences as negative experiences, the abundance of joyful experiences can serve to diminish them.  We take joyfulness for granted and instead focus our attention on negative experiences.

Seppala recommends making daily lists of things you feel grateful for.  She says being intentional about noticing those people, events & things that make you feel joyful, improves your psychological & physical health & sense of well-being.  Gratitude & joyfulness "improves our ability to connect with others, boosts our tendencies to want to help others, makes us optimistic & happier, decreases envy & materialism, & even improves health for people with physical ailments," she writes.

My family & friends make me feel grateful; they know all my bad points & still love me.  I also enjoy reading & learning about family history; I just started a class on DNA, by our local genealogical society.  I like working out at the gym, which gives me more energy, strength, endurance, & more deep sleep.  I'm grateful for our warm home on cold days.  I am grateful for God who is so faithful to me.

I am blessed to share my good news with you.  Now, start your own list of people, events, & things that make you feel joyful.  Then share your good news with someone else.  It will warm your heart on a cold day.  Sharing your joy will give you more joy.

God of the Oppressed in Spirit -mental illness

Our understanding of people has changed a lot since the days when Jesus walked on this earth.  Back in those days, people with symptoms of what we call mental illness were viewed as demon-possessed.  Today, terms like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar, trauma & eating disorders are terms that many of us heard of.

Some leading Biblical characters showed symptoms of what we today would call mental illness.  Job, Jonah, Elijah, & Jeremiah all experienced such deep anguish that they wanted to die.  Job 3:11 says, Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came out of the womb?  (See also Job 7:11, Jonah 4:3, I Kings 19:4 and Jeremiah 20:18.)  Yet they are all considered great examples of deep faith.

King Saul's behavior suggests that he may have been bipolar, according to an article by George Stein in the British Journal of Psychiatry (March, 2011).  He cites I Samuel 10:10-13, 16:23, and 19:23-24. Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzer had a period in his life when his reason left him, according to Daniel 4:36, but this served to teach him that God Alone is in control of life.  The Psalms are full of anguish, especially Psalm 88.  So there were mental illnesses in the Scriptures, although they were not understood as that back then.

Psalm 34:18 says, The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Yes, God is the God of the oppressed in spirit.  If you are feeling despondent, or low in spirit, remember that promise.  God knows what it's like to be crushed in spirit, because his Son Jesus was crushed in spirit when he died on the cross.

Here are several suggestions from Teresa Lockhart Stricklen:
Remember: STORE UP SCRIPTURE.  Memorizing verses like these can help subdue thoughts that affect one's mental health.  If you struggle to memorize things, write them down where you will be reminded.  Memorizing them or repeating them helps our souls to absorb it like a sponge absorbs water.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

I John 4:1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 

BREATH PRAYERS consist of repeating a phrase with every breath, to plant the prayer thought deep in your soul.  You can pray one of the previous verses.

GOOD THINKING: The Bible instructs us in Philippians 4:8, 

Finally, brothers & sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—

  -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As ambassadors of Christ, who heals our infirmities, we have spiritual medicine to offer alongside medical treatment.  

"Your Body, Your Spirit, & a Good Night’s Sleep"

by: John Stonestreet &  G. Shane Morris

Because our bodies matter to God—and not just in a moral sense—our rest matters to God, too. So much so, He built it into the rhythms of the universe.

Do you proclaim with the psalmist: “Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations” (Psalm 57:8)?

Do you climb out of bed each morning and sing with joy about God’s unfailing love (Psalm 59:16)?

If not, (and for the record, I rarely do), maybe it’s because we are among the one in three Americans who don’t get enough sleep. Seriously.

Last year, the Centers for Disease Control declared a new public health crisis: sleep deprivation. Millions are failing night after night to get the recommended seven to nine hours of rest, putting them at increased risk for health problems from anxiety and depression to diabetes and heart disease.

By some estimates, widespread lack of sleep is costing American employers over $100 billion annually “in lost production, medical expenses, and sick leave.” More in-depth research finds that twenty straight hours without sleep is the equivalent of being legally drunk. And sleep specialists are sounding the alarm that “drowsy driving” is just as deadly as drunk driving—and more common.

So what’s behind this epidemic of sleep deprivation? Why are Americans these days so incapable of turning off the lights and going to bed? The answer is in our pockets.

A growing body of research demonstrates that the frequency of light produced by smart phones, laptops and tablets triggers the release of chemicals in our brains that tell us, “It’s time to wake up! Its morning!”

The dreary glow of screens also drains our concentration and creativity. A study in the journal Social Psychology reported that even having a smart phone nearby degraded the quality of subjects’ work and studies, because it reminded them of their online social circles.

So what do we do to counteract this perfect storm of sleep deprivation and tech addiction?

Writing at Motherboard, Kaleigh Rogers describes her radical solution: She banned screens from her home for a full month. No TV, computers, or smart phones. Cold turkey.

Unlike healthy eating and exercise—good habits that take weeks or months to make a difference—Rogers says her tech-free experiment yielded immediate and astonishing results.

The first few days were like a dream, she writes. “We’d come home, put on some music, cook dinner together, and then—unimaginably—we’d sit at the table and eat. After dinner, Stuart would play guitar while I read. Chores were done promptly and without hesitation. It was blissful.”

Okay, that’s all great. But BreakPoint isn’t a self-help program. So what’s all this got to do with a Christian worldview?

Well, let’s go back to the beginning. God created day and He created night. A time to work, and a time to rest. The Sabbath, remember, begins in the evening, and we enter into an earthly rest in anticipation of resting eternally in God’s presence.

Remember too that we’re not pure spirits. We’re embodied spirits. The state of our body affects the state of our spirit. It’s why we avoid drunkenness and bodily immorality. It’s why we try to stay fit.

It’s no wonder then, as Kate Shellnutt writes at Christianity Today, that those who get quality sleep report feeling closer to God and having better faith lives overall.

And also, as Charles Spurgeon said, “God gives us sleep to remind us we are not Him.” We have limits. He doesn’t. We lie down at night trusting in God’s care, open to Him speaking to us, trusting him to revive these earthen vessels of ours in the morning—ready once again to join with God in His work to restore all thing in Jesus.

Now I’m not saying give up your cell phone or Facebook (especially if you read BreakPoint on them). But I am saying don’t let them deprive you of God’s gift of sleep, and in turn all the personal interaction, productivity, creativity, and especially spiritual vitality that make us fully human as God intended.

-from breakpoint.org/2018/01/body-spirit-good-nights-sleep-2/ 

I recommend putting all your e-screens (phone, tablet, laptop) away one hour before bedtime, which works well for me.  If you or your child has ADHD, try going without for a day or two, or putting away your e-screens 3-4 hours before bedtime.

God seeks to be reunited with his children.

A couple years ago, I read a book (The Radio Signal) by a German-American - Friedhelm Radandt.  Friedhelm Radandt was a child in Germany during Hitler's rise to power in the 1930s.  His father refused to enroll him and his older brother in the Nazi school for teenage boys, and because of that, his father lost his job, & their family had to move.  Friedhelm also had 2 older sisters.

In the early part of WW 2, Friedhelm's older brother enlisted in the Nazi program for teenage officers, against his parents' wishes.  Shortly after that, he disappeared on the motorcycle the Nazis provided for teenage officers.  Friedhelm was about 7-8 years old when he too became separated from his family because an approaching army, but was reunited a day or two later.  His sister was a children's nanny for another family when they had to flee a quickly approaching army.  His siblings were separated from his parents because of the war, as many families were separated in Europe during WW 2.

At the end of the war, Friedhelm and his parents were living just West of Germany.  Like many fathers who had been separated from his children, his father wanted to see his young adult children back in his home again.  So he began writing letters to any government official in any place that any of his children might be.  He wrote letter after letter after letter after letter.  When a returning letter informed him of where one of his children were, he traveled to that place to rescue his child and bring him home again.  After months and months of this, Friedhelm's 2 sisters were reunited with his family.

Then they learned that Friedhelm's brother was being held in prison along with other German soldiers just East of Germany, in an area occupied by the Soviet army.  His father traveled across the area held by Allied forces, to just across a river from the prison.  The river along the prison was the line between the Allied forces and the area held by the Soviet army.  Friedhelm's father sent a secret message to his son who snuck out of the prison during the night & managed to escape across the river without being seen, to be reunited with his father, & together they traveled back to join the rest of their family.

The point is that Friedhelm's father went through many steps, some of which were costly & risky, to be reunited with all his children after the war.  In a similar way, God went through many steps to be reunited with his children.  Sending his Son to be born in humble circumstances was the costliest & riskiest thing that God did, to rescue his children & be reunited with them.

We're separated from God by our sin which is like cancer; it's awful, painful & destructive.  Prior to Christ, in the latter part of the Old Testament, it became clear that the old Jewish system of sacrifices, was not enough to restore God's people to Him.  That system had become abused by selfish people who took advantage of the poor & gave special privileges to the wealthy.

In the journey of life, sometimes one reaches the point where one wishes to be reunited with lost family members.  Would you like to be reunited with your spiritual family?  Would you like to develop a relationship with your heavenly Father?

If you've come to the point in your life where you can see your need for help to overcome your problems & sins, you can be reunited with your heavenly Parent through the help of Jesus.  Admit your sins and weaknesses, to be reunited with God, and trust in his Spirit to help you.  If you want to learn more, read the Gospel of John in the New Testament in the Bible.