Why Fathers Matter

Last month, I had the chance to meet & hear a young man who’s running for office.  He happened to sit next to me, & we had the chance to talk before the meeting started.  I asked him if he had a family.  He shared that he & his wife have 2 young children, & are preparing to have a third child.  I smiled & said, Oh, those are good years for children.  Some of my favorite memories of our children are when they were that age.  He quickly agreed.  He runs a small business.  When he spoke to the group, he spoke very passionately about his beliefs about government, faith, & marriage. 

After the meeting ended, I encouraged him that whether he won or lost the election, to spend time with his children while they’re young.  I said, your children will be this young only for a limited number of years, & this is the period when a father can have the most influence.  The time that a father invests in his children when they are young, will pay dividends later.  He seemed touched, & said that that was so true.

When our son was in high school, he was in a youth ministry in which he taught & mentored boys ages 6-10.  Later, when he was in college, he wrote a term paper about the importance of fathers.  In the paper, he wrote about the behavior & decisions that he observed in these young boys.  He described how without exception, the boys who behaved well & made good decisions, had a positive role model for a father in the home.  The boys who misbehaved & made bad decisions, had a negative role model for a father or had no father in the home. 

Chuck Colson was one of the top officials in the Pres. Richard Nixon administration & was caught up in the Watergate scandal of the 1970s.  So it was very humbling for him to find himself in a prison cell, but his experience in that prison cell lead him to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  After he was released from prison, he began a ministry for prisoners.  He initiated Bible studies & programs for prisoners; his ministry called Prison Fellowship grew & grew.  Colson invested decades of his life into prisoners.  He also read studies of prisoners.  He discovered that the thousands of men in prison had virtually nothing in common, except for one thing.  Every man in prison had a negative role model for a father or no father in the home. 

That’s right.  When a boy grows up in a home with a positive role model for a father, he learns positive values & learns to make good decisions.  That’s why I have a heart for fathers of young children.  When I meet a man who had young children, I encourage him to spend time with his children.  Young children will learn so much from watching their parents. 

That’s why fathers matter.  That’s why fathers are so important.  Fathers have the influence to shape the next generation.  When our children became teens & then young adults, they made decisions that were so much wiser than the decisions that I made at their ages.  It was humbling for me, but watching them also made me proud.  It all started when our children were babies, toddlers, & then young children, playing with them & showing them what a man does.  If you know a father of young children, please, for the sake of those children, encourage him to invest time in his children.  Happy Fathers’ Day! 

The Habit of Eating

Luke 7:34 says, “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’”

If an unbeliever invites you over to dinner at his/her home, do you accept?  If you do accept, does your presence at their table mean that you agree with all of their values?  Well, if you were a good, righteous Jew in the New Testament, you absolutely did not.  Jews did not associate with anyone of a different religion or different social class.  For example, a Jew would not eat with Gentiles or Samaritans.  That’s why, in John 4, when Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, it was so radical for Jesus to ask her for a drink.  Jews did not ask a Samaritan for anything.

But Jesus turned the rules upside down.  Jesus ate and drank with sinners, drunkards, fraudulent tax-collectors, and prostitutes.  In Luke 19, Jesus attended a dinner at the home of a fraudulent tax-collector named Zacchaeus.  There is no evidence that Jesus criticized or condemned the tax-collector's business practices.  After the dinner, Zacchaeus felt convicted and announced that he would pay back everyone he cheated and pay them back many times over.  He also said that he was going to follow Jesus.  

Michael Frost tells the story of a Baptist pastor who told him that his neighbor claimed to make the best margaritas in the whole state, & regularly hosted margarita & poker nights in his garage.  All the men in the neighborhood attended, except for this Baptist who never accepted an invitation to join them, believing that to be a strong witness to his faith. Michael asked him how many times his neighbor had asked him any questions about his faith in Christ.  He said, Never.  Michael asked how often he’d ever shared anything of his faith his margarita-making neighbor.  Again, the Baptist said, Never.  You see, it’s not questionable when a Baptist refuses to attend a margarita & poker night.  It’s expected.

Michael challenged this Baptist pastor to accept the next invitation he received, & he did.

His neighbor almost fell over in shock.  The Baptist joined the gathering in the garage, & true to his conviction, he just drank soda pop.  No one minded.  He ended up having more conversations about faith than he’d had in ages.  A Baptist pastor at a margarita night is a surprise, & it led to questions about faith. 😊

Now, I’m not recommending that you need to go a margarita night.  But I do believe that the Lord would have us eat with unbelievers.  Don’t feel a need to judge the lifestyles or habits of others.  See it as an opportunity to just share a little love & grace as you build relationships. 

Follow Jesus’ example of sharing a meal first & see what it leads to.

Share Your Good News & You Will Be Better

An article entitled Share Your Good News & You Will Be Better by Emma Seppala, describes psychologists' research on the joys of sharing joy.  Of course we share our joys, right? We enjoy being joyful, right?

In fact, the article explains that while most of us have 3 times as many positive experiences as negative experiences, the abundance of joyful experiences can serve to diminish them.  We take joyfulness for granted and instead focus our attention on negative experiences.

Seppala recommends making daily lists of things you feel grateful for.  She says being intentional about noticing those people, events & things that make you feel joyful, improves your psychological & physical health & sense of well-being.  Gratitude & joyfulness "improves our ability to connect with others, boosts our tendencies to want to help others, makes us optimistic & happier, decreases envy & materialism, & even improves health for people with physical ailments," she writes.

My family & friends make me feel grateful; they know all my bad points & still love me.  I also enjoy reading & learning about family history; I just started a class on DNA, by our local genealogical society.  I like working out at the gym, which gives me more energy, strength, endurance, & more deep sleep.  I'm grateful for our warm home on cold days.  I am grateful for God who is so faithful to me.

I am blessed to share my good news with you.  Now, start your own list of people, events, & things that make you feel joyful.  Then share your good news with someone else.  It will warm your heart on a cold day.  Sharing your joy will give you more joy.

God of the Oppressed in Spirit -mental illness

Our understanding of people has changed a lot since the days when Jesus walked on this earth.  Back in those days, people with symptoms of what we call mental illness were viewed as demon-possessed.  Today, terms like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar, trauma & eating disorders are terms that many of us heard of.

Some leading Biblical characters showed symptoms of what we today would call mental illness.  Job, Jonah, Elijah, & Jeremiah all experienced such deep anguish that they wanted to die.  Job 3:11 says, Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came out of the womb?  (See also Job 7:11, Jonah 4:3, I Kings 19:4 and Jeremiah 20:18.)  Yet they are all considered great examples of deep faith.

King Saul's behavior suggests that he may have been bipolar, according to an article by George Stein in the British Journal of Psychiatry (March, 2011).  He cites I Samuel 10:10-13, 16:23, and 19:23-24. Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzer had a period in his life when his reason left him, according to Daniel 4:36, but this served to teach him that God Alone is in control of life.  The Psalms are full of anguish, especially Psalm 88.  So there were mental illnesses in the Scriptures, although they were not understood as that back then.

Psalm 34:18 says, The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Yes, God is the God of the oppressed in spirit.  If you are feeling despondent, or low in spirit, remember that promise.  God knows what it's like to be crushed in spirit, because his Son Jesus was crushed in spirit when he died on the cross.

Here are several suggestions from Teresa Lockhart Stricklen:
Remember: STORE UP SCRIPTURE.  Memorizing verses like these can help subdue thoughts that affect one's mental health.  If you struggle to memorize things, write them down where you will be reminded.  Memorizing them or repeating them helps our souls to absorb it like a sponge absorbs water.

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

I John 4:1 Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 

BREATH PRAYERS consist of repeating a phrase with every breath, to plant the prayer thought deep in your soul.  You can pray one of the previous verses.

GOOD THINKING: The Bible instructs us in Philippians 4:8, 

Finally, brothers & sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—

  -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As ambassadors of Christ, who heals our infirmities, we have spiritual medicine to offer alongside medical treatment.  

"Your Body, Your Spirit, & a Good Night’s Sleep"

by: John Stonestreet &  G. Shane Morris

Because our bodies matter to God—and not just in a moral sense—our rest matters to God, too. So much so, He built it into the rhythms of the universe.

Do you proclaim with the psalmist: “Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations” (Psalm 57:8)?

Do you climb out of bed each morning and sing with joy about God’s unfailing love (Psalm 59:16)?

If not, (and for the record, I rarely do), maybe it’s because we are among the one in three Americans who don’t get enough sleep. Seriously.

Last year, the Centers for Disease Control declared a new public health crisis: sleep deprivation. Millions are failing night after night to get the recommended seven to nine hours of rest, putting them at increased risk for health problems from anxiety and depression to diabetes and heart disease.

By some estimates, widespread lack of sleep is costing American employers over $100 billion annually “in lost production, medical expenses, and sick leave.” More in-depth research finds that twenty straight hours without sleep is the equivalent of being legally drunk. And sleep specialists are sounding the alarm that “drowsy driving” is just as deadly as drunk driving—and more common.

So what’s behind this epidemic of sleep deprivation? Why are Americans these days so incapable of turning off the lights and going to bed? The answer is in our pockets.

A growing body of research demonstrates that the frequency of light produced by smart phones, laptops and tablets triggers the release of chemicals in our brains that tell us, “It’s time to wake up! Its morning!”

The dreary glow of screens also drains our concentration and creativity. A study in the journal Social Psychology reported that even having a smart phone nearby degraded the quality of subjects’ work and studies, because it reminded them of their online social circles.

So what do we do to counteract this perfect storm of sleep deprivation and tech addiction?

Writing at Motherboard, Kaleigh Rogers describes her radical solution: She banned screens from her home for a full month. No TV, computers, or smart phones. Cold turkey.

Unlike healthy eating and exercise—good habits that take weeks or months to make a difference—Rogers says her tech-free experiment yielded immediate and astonishing results.

The first few days were like a dream, she writes. “We’d come home, put on some music, cook dinner together, and then—unimaginably—we’d sit at the table and eat. After dinner, Stuart would play guitar while I read. Chores were done promptly and without hesitation. It was blissful.”

Okay, that’s all great. But BreakPoint isn’t a self-help program. So what’s all this got to do with a Christian worldview?

Well, let’s go back to the beginning. God created day and He created night. A time to work, and a time to rest. The Sabbath, remember, begins in the evening, and we enter into an earthly rest in anticipation of resting eternally in God’s presence.

Remember too that we’re not pure spirits. We’re embodied spirits. The state of our body affects the state of our spirit. It’s why we avoid drunkenness and bodily immorality. It’s why we try to stay fit.

It’s no wonder then, as Kate Shellnutt writes at Christianity Today, that those who get quality sleep report feeling closer to God and having better faith lives overall.

And also, as Charles Spurgeon said, “God gives us sleep to remind us we are not Him.” We have limits. He doesn’t. We lie down at night trusting in God’s care, open to Him speaking to us, trusting him to revive these earthen vessels of ours in the morning—ready once again to join with God in His work to restore all thing in Jesus.

Now I’m not saying give up your cell phone or Facebook (especially if you read BreakPoint on them). But I am saying don’t let them deprive you of God’s gift of sleep, and in turn all the personal interaction, productivity, creativity, and especially spiritual vitality that make us fully human as God intended.

-from breakpoint.org/2018/01/body-spirit-good-nights-sleep-2/ 

I recommend putting all your e-screens (phone, tablet, laptop) away one hour before bedtime, which works well for me.  If you or your child has ADHD, try going without for a day or two, or putting away your e-screens 3-4 hours before bedtime.

God seeks to be reunited with his children.

A couple years ago, I read a book (The Radio Signal) by a German-American - Friedhelm Radandt.  Friedhelm Radandt was a child in Germany during Hitler's rise to power in the 1930s.  His father refused to enroll him and his older brother in the Nazi school for teenage boys, and because of that, his father lost his job, & their family had to move.  Friedhelm also had 2 older sisters.

In the early part of WW 2, Friedhelm's older brother enlisted in the Nazi program for teenage officers, against his parents' wishes.  Shortly after that, he disappeared on the motorcycle the Nazis provided for teenage officers.  Friedhelm was about 7-8 years old when he too became separated from his family because an approaching army, but was reunited a day or two later.  His sister was a children's nanny for another family when they had to flee a quickly approaching army.  His siblings were separated from his parents because of the war, as many families were separated in Europe during WW 2.

At the end of the war, Friedhelm and his parents were living just West of Germany.  Like many fathers who had been separated from his children, his father wanted to see his young adult children back in his home again.  So he began writing letters to any government official in any place that any of his children might be.  He wrote letter after letter after letter after letter.  When a returning letter informed him of where one of his children were, he traveled to that place to rescue his child and bring him home again.  After months and months of this, Friedhelm's 2 sisters were reunited with his family.

Then they learned that Friedhelm's brother was being held in prison along with other German soldiers just East of Germany, in an area occupied by the Soviet army.  His father traveled across the area held by Allied forces, to just across a river from the prison.  The river along the prison was the line between the Allied forces and the area held by the Soviet army.  Friedhelm's father sent a secret message to his son who snuck out of the prison during the night & managed to escape across the river without being seen, to be reunited with his father, & together they traveled back to join the rest of their family.

The point is that Friedhelm's father went through many steps, some of which were costly & risky, to be reunited with all his children after the war.  In a similar way, God went through many steps to be reunited with his children.  Sending his Son to be born in humble circumstances was the costliest & riskiest thing that God did, to rescue his children & be reunited with them.

We're separated from God by our sin which is like cancer; it's awful, painful & destructive.  Prior to Christ, in the latter part of the Old Testament, it became clear that the old Jewish system of sacrifices, was not enough to restore God's people to Him.  That system had become abused by selfish people who took advantage of the poor & gave special privileges to the wealthy.

In the journey of life, sometimes one reaches the point where one wishes to be reunited with lost family members.  Would you like to be reunited with your spiritual family?  Would you like to develop a relationship with your heavenly Father?

If you've come to the point in your life where you can see your need for help to overcome your problems & sins, you can be reunited with your heavenly Parent through the help of Jesus.  Admit your sins and weaknesses, to be reunited with God, and trust in his Spirit to help you.  If you want to learn more, read the Gospel of John in the New Testament in the Bible.

Jesus Comes for the Humble

At Christmas, God's Child gave up the majesty and beauty of heaven, to come down to this earthly, broken world.
Consider the person God chose to bear his Child in human form - Mary, likely a teenage girl from a poor family.  Mary had little in what we consider advantages for a teenager - education, things,- but she had faith and a willingness to serve.  That's all that one needs, to be used by God - a trust in God and willingness to serve.

Look at whom God's angels first announced the divine birth to - the shepherds.  Really!?  Shepherds?
There had been a time, centuries before, when shepherds were good, honest, upright people.  Maybe you're familiar with the Good Shepherd of Psalm 23.  That was during Israel's good days.  The priests were also called shepherds, those who cared for Israel's spiritual needs & represented the people before God.

But as the years went by, Israel's shepherd-priests were not always faithful.  In fact, by the time one gets to the Old Testament prophets, shepherd-priests were criticized for their faithlessness & misleading the people. Jeremiah 10:21 says, The shepherds are senseless and do not inquire of the Lord; so they do not prosper and all their flock is scattered.  Jeremiah 23:1-2 says, “Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture!” declares the Lord. ² Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to the shepherds who tend my people: “Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,” declares the Lord.

Ezekiel 34:2 says, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock?

By the time of the New Testament, shepherds could not enter the temple, because living out in the fields with the sheep, they did not keep the Jewish laws of cleanliness.  Because they were seen as untrustworthy, they were not allowed to testify in court.

Yet, when it came time for God to announce the birth of his Son to the world, God sent his angels to shepherds out in the fields - amazing & ironic!

Perhaps you have felt or done faithless, dirty or untrustworthy things, like the shepherds.  The great news is that God's Son has come for people like that.  The message of Christmas is for lowly, humble people whom the world looks down upon.

Then look at the setting in which God's Son was born - in the stable (a barn), a place where you find animals and manure.  Not a place for a royal child to be born.  A manger is a feeding trough for animals -not the place for a royal Child!  You'd expect to find God's Child in a majestic place, a place fit for a king, not an animal in a barn.  When you go out to the barn, you don't expect to find a child in an animal feeding trough, much less the newborn Son of God!

The whole scene seems so mixed up.  Or is it?
Is it possible that God specifically chose this scene for his Child to enter the world?

Instead of announcing his Son's birth to kings, presidents or the news media, God sends his messengers to the lowest of the lowly, the shepherds.  God doesn't announce it to a full crowd in the temple, or even at a college bowl game.  No, God chooses some of the humblest people on earth, in a dirty, earthly setting.  The whole scene shouts HUMILITY - Mary, shepherds in a pasture, a manger in a stable. 

God's making it clear that his Son is coming for lowly, humble people.  No, Christmas is not about being the best, or the brightest or the biggest or the loudest.  No, Christmas is for those who are lowly, humble, faithful.  Maybe events in the last year or two have humbled you, and perhaps you feel lower than you've felt in a long time.  If that's true, then Christmas is for you.

God's sending his Son to earth at Christmas, was God's way of pursuing his people, because God longs to have a relationship with everyone, including you.

Mary was a humble servant of God, who was willing to serve and be used.
The scene of the manger in the stable was a humble setting for God's Son to be born.
God's angels announced the royal birth to lowly, humble shepherds who accepted the message & went to Bethlehem to see & worship the newborn Jesus.
God sent Jesus to those who are humble.  Jesus comes to the humble.

The question for each of us is, do we have the humility to admit that we cannot overcome our sins on our own, that we need help from a Higher Power.  Do you have the humility to bow down before Jesus as the shepherds did?

O come let us adore him; o come let us adore him, Christ the Lord.
Let us bow our hearts & heads before the newborn King.
Come & worship, come & worship, Christ the King!

What Jesus could teach men about masculinity, by Daniel Fusco

He was the most powerful person in history. But instead of exploiting relationships to fulfill his selfish desires, he humbled himself and served others.

With each passing day, I see another headline. Another well-known person is accused or fired. I’m talking about sexual harassment. Sexual abuse. We can’t miss it. It's running rampant in our culture. And it’s sickening.

None of us had any idea how bad things would get. Every day we are waiting to see who will be next. It has reached far and wide, from talking heads on TV shows to celebrity chefs to the highest office in our land. Then it dawns on us … the news is only reporting the cases of abuse that involve famous people.

What is worse is that sexual abuse has been everywhere for a long time. Long before the mainstream news media reported these atrocities and long before the balance of power moved from the perpetrators to the victims, many women were reporting abuses to their superiors with no recourse, or suffering in silence. But, thankfully, that is changing.

When we hear these stories, our hearts break for the victims. As a person of faith, this concern extends as well to the oppressed and marginalized. I am grateful that moving forward, men using their positions of power and influence to harass, demean or objectify women will be unacceptable. The “boys will be boys” idea, or whatever ways people try to justify this behavior, is finally seeing its long overdue demise.

As a pastor, it’s not lost on me that this is coming to light at the end of the calendar year, at a time we commonly know as the Christmas season. This special time is meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Whatever people’s feelings about Jesus, the reason for the birth of this child was to demonstrate what real humility looks like. God coming to our world as a child and ultimately dying on a cross for the forgiveness of humankind … that is the message of Christmas. And it rings out today as a unique sound, in light of all that is happening.

Any time a person is abused or harassed, it is wrong. And it’s even more alarming when abusers leverage positions of power as opportunities to prey on people. Yet even as human culture has celebrated many thousands of Christmas seasons past, we have yet to really grasp the message of Christmas, and the message of Jesus.

When we consider Jesus, we realize he was the most powerful person in history. He had the most influence on people. And yet, instead of exploiting relationships to fulfill his selfish desires, his life was always about God’s will for him and God’s heart for people. Jesus humbled himself and served others. He showed up as a helpless child. As a grown man, he chose to die on the cross. He ultimately shows us that power does not have to be a means to a selfish end. God wants our positions of influence and power to be an opportunity to humble ourselves, and bless and serve our community and our world. Jesus, rather than seeing himself as superior to others, fully identified with our human condition and served us.

When I think of Jesus and the message he brought at Christmas, I am troubled that 2,000 years after he walked on the earth, masculinity is still trying to figure out its appropriate and proper expression. Far too many men feel that an oppressive, objectifying and demeaning view of women is just how we are — when the whole time Jesus is there, serving as the ultimate example of masculinity, for us to understand and emulate.

Our culture might not realize it, but it is crying out for real masculinity. And Jesus has always been that. I am hoping we will look at him with fresh eyes this Christmas and ask God how we can take on more of the qualities of Jesus. A heart to stand in the gap for other people, to see them in whatever state they are in, and push away any other thought than: God, how do you see this person, and how can I bless them today?

On the other side of the coin, this Christmas I am especially reminded that Christmas is a message of hope. Jesus not only came to show us a new way of living, he ultimately came to bring forgiveness. I am not recommending any get-out-of-jail free cards for anyone who has perpetrated these evils that are being exposed. But we cannot forget that all of us are in need of forgiveness.

Even on my best day, I fail in innumerable ways. I don’t always get it right, and I can hurt others. We all struggle and we are all in process, and the reality God brought at Christmas was a celebration of taking the next step in relationship with God and responding to his desires for us.

I am so grateful that Jesus isn’t done with me yet. And for everyone who has victimized others, I pray this Christmas they will find the way to true spiritual renewal, through the message of Jesus.

Daniel Fusco, author of Upward, Inward, Outward, is the pastor of Crossroads Community Church (Vancouver, Wash., and Portland, Ore.), and hosts TV show Real with Daniel Fusco on the Hillsong Channel. Follow him on Twitter: @danielfusco

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/12/12/what-jesus-could-teach-chefs-celebrities-president-masculinity-daniel-fusco-column/942295001/

Busting Holiday Stress: 6 Ways to Make the Season Happy & Healthy

Lynn Allison 
https://www.newsmax.com/health/health-news/holiday-stress-buster/2017/12/07/id/830539/

The winter holidays can bring feelings of happiness, love, and genuine joy. But for millions of Americans they also bring unhealthy stress levels that can negatively impact your body and mind.

Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a noted New York-based psychologist, tells Newsmax Health it’s important to come up with strategies for managing holiday stress, beginning with keeping perspective and balance between now and New Year’s Day.

“The key to making this season happy — and maybe for the first time in your adult life — is to examine the triggers that cause your stress and diffuse them before they explode,” Kuriansky says.
“And that means being honest with yourself and your limitations. We all know the serenity prayer that reminds us to know the difference between what we can control and what we can’t. The source of discontentment during this busy season is not being realistic — not truly seeing our situation for what is, and expecting people and things to change.”

According to a report compiled by the American Psychological Association, holiday stress has the greatest impact on women who customarily take charge of many of the holiday celebrations — particularly the tasks of preparing the meals and decorating the home.

Women are also most likely to be the ones shopping for and wrapping gifts. They have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits to manage their stress, like comfort eating.

"Studies show that our appetite for sweets increases quite dramatically when we experience chronic stress which makes the holiday season prime time for expanding your waistline,” Dr. Heidi Hanna, executive director of the American Institute for Stress, tells Newsmax Health. “Don’t deprive yourself of the occasional treat but practice eating slowly, calmly and mindfully.”

Financial stress, especially in times of economic woes, can also wreak havoc in families struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis. Lack of money, lack of time and the hype and commercialism of the holiday season play upon the emotions and may cause family discord instead of harmony.

These startling statistics tell the story. When people were asked what feelings they experienced most during the holiday season, they reported:
·         Fatigue — 68 percent
·         Stress — 61 percent
·         Irritability — 52 percent
·         Sadness — 36 percent
·         Anger — 35 percent
·         Loneliness — 26 percent
In fact, the APA reports that nearly three-quarters of the people surveyed say that they experience stress levels that exceed what they define as healthy.

Here are some more interesting statistics
·         Americans spend about $525 billion over the holiday season with online spending increasing 12 percent annually.
·         The average person spends just under $1,200 over the holidays including food, gifts and travel.
·         At least 23 percent of holiday expenses are charged to a credit card with over 6 million people borrowing to pay for Christmas each year.
·         One third of bankruptcies filed in March is caused by overspending at Christmas.
To keep your financial house in order, keep an open dialogue with family and friends about gift giving. Many families draw names from a hat and chose one person to gift which dramatically cuts down holiday costs.

In addition to financial stresses, the holidays can boost family tensions. Not every family is blessed with Brady Bunch dynamics. Getting together during the holiday season can cause massive stress.
“Food is a huge issue,” says Kuriansky. “When families sit at the table together, all of a sudden they’re all kids again fighting over who gets the drumstick, who is being a glutton or who is not eating enough. We all become little children again with petty fighting and grievances.”
Acknowledging these dynamics is the first step to reversing negative consequences.

“For example, if your super critical sibling once again mentions how dry the turkey is, be prepared to ignore her.” advises Kuriansky. “This year, shine the light of your attention on something positive and simply flip the switch when she begins her usually criticisms. Things only bother us if we give them our attention. So make that shift from annoyance to gratitude.”

Here are more quick tips from the American Psychological Association:
Take time for yourself. There may be pressure to be everything to everyone but remember that you are only one person and can only accomplish certain things. Take a long walk, get a massage, or simply put your feet up and listen to fine music.

Don’t neglect your physical health. If you have a regular exercise routine, don’t give it up. Exercise releases natural feel-good hormones that can combat stress.

Set realistic expectations. No Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza or any other holiday celebration is perfect. Look at the inevitable mistakes or mishaps as opportunities to demonstrate resilience and flexibility. Learn to let go of perfectionist idealism because it does not exist.

Volunteer. What better way to appreciate what you’ve got than to help others who have less? You can “adopt” a less fortunate family and make their holiday shine. You can wrap gifts for foster children, serve at a soup kitchen, volunteer at homeless shelter, or participate in a giving tree celebration that benefits communities at large.

Remember what’s important. The barrage of holiday advertising can make us forget what the holiday season is really about. When your expense list is running longer than your monthly budget, scale back and remind yourself that what makes a great celebration is family, not store-bought presents, elaborate decorations, or gourmet food.

Seek support. Talk about your feelings of anxiety with friends and family. Getting things out in the open can help you navigate through the holiday season with less resentment and anger. In addition, being honest with your loved ones can help find a solution for your stress. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consider seeking a professional to help you manage your holiday stress.

Longing for Peace

December 21 was the day chosen by my wife’s doctor and her, the day for her c-section and the birth of our third child.  It was on a Monday morning at the small hospital eight miles from our home.  You would think that by the birth of our third child, we would have had the routine down pat, but there are always some unexpected surprises.  And December always seems crazy around our house.

We got up very early on the appointed day.  We took our two young children to the family in our church who had offered to watch them.  I drove my wife to the hospital, arriving at five am.  At that time of day, the hospital seemed quiet and peaceful.  They began to prep my wife for the c-section, and I left the hospital room.  There’s not much to do in a small, rural hospital at 5:30 am.  So I started walking slowly down the hallway.  One patient room’s door was open, and the clock radio came on, playing that old, familiar carol, “Silent Night, Holy Night.”

Many years have passed since that day.  The baby born on that December day is now a young adult living in another city.  For most of those 20-plus years, I took peace for granted.  But in recent years, there doesn’t seem to be much peace in our world.  War is always going on somewhere.  Another family is falling apart, leaving the children to be carted from home to home.  Any peace seems just temporary, until another storm, another conflict, another disaster happens.  

Lately, I find myself longing for peace, for real, lasting peace.

Isaiah 9:6-7 promises, 

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
         Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

If you too long for genuine lasting peace during this Advent season, turn to the One who is the Prince of Peace.  Isaiah promised that there were be no end to his peace.  There is no place else in this world to turn to, for real, lasting peace.  So turn to the only One who can bring you such peace. 

“Take me out of this ballgame”

http://pres-outlook.org/2007/01/take-me-out-of-this-ballgame

Why is America so sports crazy? Why am I so sports crazy?

My eligibility to play on college athletic teams expired thirty years ago. I now have children older than the young men and women who are vying for national championships. Yet my interest in the outcome of those games — and, at times, my irrational responses to what I am seeing on the court and on the field — seem to be accelerating.

Why do millions of people experience happier days when their teams win, but feel sick to their stomachs after losses? Domestic abuse typically rises in metro areas whenever the local franchise chalks up an “L.” Sports stars aren’t only performers. They are “heroes.” The average annual salary for Major League Baseball players is greater than the lifetime earnings of tens of millions of American workers. Has our national sports fixation become a form of mental illness? ESPN advertises its NFL broadcasts with this slogan: “When you love it this much, nothing else matters.”  For the diehard sports fan no alternative view is imaginable.

Unquestionably the socializing that is frequently associated with spectator sports can be a welcome antidote to relational isolation. Fascination with athletic competition keeps a lot of people talking around the water cooler. Whole communities come together to experience The Big Game. Apart from sports some family members would struggle to find common ground. Think of that poignant scene from City Slickers in which Daniel Stern’s middle-aged character reflects that when he and his dad couldn’t find anything to talk about, they could always talk about baseball. Three cheers for the myriad ways that sports bring people together.

Other associations with seasonal games aren’t nearly so redemptive. It’s hard to overlook the symbiosis of major sports with gambling, alcohol, sexual images, and violence.

Theories abound concerning the rise of Sports Nation. Perhaps sports are a form of representative combat. Hating the Yankees is a safe and socially acceptable way of thumbing our noses at the Big Apple for its bigger-than-life arrogance. Others suggest that sports-crazed people (men, in particular) become ravenous fans because their own lives seem so dull and lifeless. Their personal dreams are stillborn. Vicarious success is just a televised touchdown pass or grand slam away.

As a pastor I am convinced that our church’s “competition” is not the Lutherans, the Methodists or that independent mega-church that’s mushrooming down the street. Would-be disciples of Jesus are torn between attending worship or supporting their kids’ 11:00 a.m. Sunday soccer league. The population thins in our sanctuary every time the local NFL franchise, the Indianapolis Colts, take the field at midday Sunday. (To be fair, our pastoral counseling opportunities soar every January when the Colts flame out in the playoffs.)

But the real effect of sports-as-life-itself cannot be documented as easily as attendance figures. We live in a culture of distraction. Our fascination with Hollywood, escapist vacations, political scandals, and the trivial details of the lives of celebrities — do Brad and Angelina truly love each other? — is symptomatic of the fact that many of those in our pews are not even acquainted with life’s great questions.

Addiction to sports can be a serious challenge to spiritual formation — that lifelong endeavor that requires relentless seeking of God’s kingdom through such disciplines as silence, solitude, and study. Manic attention to spectator events steals irreplaceable time from marriages, friendships and parenting. Today’s average couple works one thousand more hours per year than in 1975. Do we really want to turn on the TV as constant background noise when we finally find time to be with each other? Is it normal for dads to know more about the struggles of their fantasy players than the stresses faced by their own kids?

OK, I’m convicted. My name is Glenn. I am an addict. I watch too many hours of SportsCenter. I shouldn’t know (or care) about Chad Pennington’s double rotator cuff surgery. The beauty of autumn days should not be compromised because my favorite team may blow the World Series. With God’s help I will spend fewer hours in front of the TV and more time attending to the precious people in my home. As a pastor I will not dodge the issue of sports addiction as a major spiritual compromise for many of my members. God deserves my attention above all.

After all, when God loves us this much, nothing else matters.

Glenn McDonald is pastor of Zionsville Church, Zionsville, Ind.

Problem Gambling in Your Community

Do you know anyone who has a problem with gambling?

One time I spoke with a man who shared his story with me.  He’d had a major financial setback a few years before.  Then he started going to the casino to play poker, which he saw as an opportunity to get his financial loss back.  The problem was that he lost more than he ever made at poker.  He kept going back to the casino, and he continued to lose money.  He continued to believe that poker was the way to get his money back, but he continued to lose money.

During this time, he lied to his wife about how he was spending his time.  He also lied about what was happening to their money.  He was too ashamed to tell her the truth.  He took out a second mortgage and went through their retirement savings.  As his losses mounted, so did his slide into depression.  He was beginning to wonder if he’d ever get his money back.  Then he thought of a way to escape his problems; he would commit suicide.  He came up with a plan. 

That was when he realized that he needed to get help.  He confessed his gambling problem and lies to his wife, and they found help for his gambling.  He had his name put on a list of people who were voluntarily banned from casinos  He started attending a 12-step group.  He was making progress in his recovery, but acknowledged that he still felt tempted to go to the casino at times.  Their marriage was improving.  Life was looking up.

There are 118 casinos in Oklahoma, which is the third most in the U.S.  Would you recognize the signs if someone you love has a gambling problem?  Did you know that gambling affects a person’s brain like drugs?  The good news is that help is available.  Here is a list of signs and symptoms of problem gambling http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/compulsive-gambling/symptoms-causes/dxc-20258394 

If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, google “Oklahoma problem gambling,” and you will find more resources.  If you live in another state or country, simply type in your state or country with problem gambling.

Use Your Freedom for Christ's Kingdom.

Our national interest in freedom has been renewed since 9-11.  There have many words about appreciation for our freedom and the need to protect our freedoms.  We have a renewed reverence for those who sacrificed for our freedom.  Freedom comes up in discussions about restricting individuals' behaviors.

I knew a guy who was imprisoned for 5 years.  After his release, he shared that he would never forget the sense of being watched and guarded, and that he had a new appreciation for his freedom.

Unfortunately, we’ve often abused our freedom and suffered the consequences.  Too many deserts and junk foods have added to some of our waistlines.  As youth and young adults, many of us abused our freedom by doing foolish things, and we learned from the school of hard knocks.

Galatians 5:1 says, ”It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.”  In Gal. 5:13, Paul cautions us, ”You, my brothers, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”

I Peter 2:16-18 warns and instructs us, ”Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. Show proper respect to everyone; love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.”

I have come to see our spiritual and legal freedoms as a treasure to be guarded and protected.  It is also to be used to serve the Lord and others.  When you watch the 4^th of July fireworks, remember the sacrifices of those who gave of themselves for our freedom.  Pray for our national leaders.  Obey the instructions of Galatians and I Peter quoted above:  Live as servants of God, and use your freedom to serve others in love.  Use your freedom for Christ’s Kingdom.

In the Master’s service.

Scriptures & Sites for Chronic Pain or Chronic Illness

Some of you know that I've lived with chronic pain (fibromyalgia & spinal degeneration) for many years.  Studies show that one-third to one-half of all Americans live with chronic pain or chronic illness.    So this is a widespread issue.   So here are some Scriptures for those with chronic pain or illness.  It is not a complete list; it's just an introduction to some of them.  My hope is that some of these Scriptures and/or sites will help you or someone you know.

2 Corinthians 5:1  “If the earthly tent we live in (our bodies), is destroyed, we have a  

    building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

2 Corinthians 12:1-10 –Paul’s thorn in the flesh, esp. v 9, “My grace is sufficient for you,

                 for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Job, esp. chapt. 1-2, 38:1-15, 42

Galatians 6:17  “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Matt. 11:28-30 –when you’re tired & worn out

I Peter 5:10  “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while,

will himself restore you and make you strong, firm & steadfast.”

Psalm 6: 2-4, 6-9

Psalm 22:1-2  -David felt abandoned by God.

        Vs. 24 “For he (God) has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;      

                      he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”

Psalm 69: esp 13-17

Psalm 103: 1-5

Psalm 119:50  “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”

Joseph in Gen. 37-50  -suffered unfairly, but responded in gracious ways

           50:20 to his brothers: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…”

HOPE:

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,

     plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him,  

                        so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Hebrews 6:19  “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

Isaiah 40:31 “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength;

                       they will soar on wings like eagles…”

ONLINE RESOURCES:

http://www.restministries.com -free chronic pain email devotionals & articles,

                                        Bible study materials, support groups called Hope Keepers

 http://www.joniandfriends.org/  -Joni Eareckson Tada, disability center, email devotionals

 http://www.theacpa.org/default.aspx  American Chronic Pain Assoc. - excellent & includes a few for family members.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/ -look up any chronic pain or illness by name

www.facebook.com/ have numerous groups for those w/ chronic pain or illness; just search for your illness.

http://www.meetup.com/North-Texas-Fibromyalgia-Support-Group  -mtgs in Dallas area.  If u go to http://www.meetup.com/, look up your kind of pain/illness & your city, u might find a meetup group near u.