When Prayers Aren't Answered

A 42-year-old sits alone in her home.  She has lived with severe arthritis for over 8 years.  Her doctor just diagnosed her with chronic fatigue syndrome.  Her energy-level is always low; her personal “gas tank” needs to be filled, but doesn’t hold nearly what it used to.  She doesn’t know how she can continue working and caring for her 3 children.  She, her pastor, and friends have prayed for God to heal her, for years, but their prayers have not been answered. 

When she asks her pastor Why, he doesn’t have an answer.  She avoids those who told her she doesn’t have enough faith; what do they think – that she enjoys this everyday pain, fatigue, and big medical bills?  Some friends were understanding at first but no longer invite her to their social outings because she couldn’t go out, one too many times.  Others don’t know what to say anymore.  Thus, she feels alone in her struggles.

Understanding why God doesn’t answer our prayers, requires us to look past our pain and hardships; it also requires patience and faith that can preserve through testing.  If you don’t have the necessary faith or endurance, suffering teaches us, even though no one likes the school of hard knocks.

In Isaiah 30, the Israelites turned to an alliance with the Egyptians instead of turning to the Lord.  In v. 15, the Sovereign Lord said to them,

In repentance and rest is your salvation,


in quietness and trust is your strength,


but you would have none of it.

How many of us during our healthy time, felt like we had to spend our time at work or with loved ones, and were too busy to be quiet before God.  We rushed and fretted and hurried around.  Then, in some way, God did something to get our attention, and we had to suffer through some hard times while being humbled before God. 

What if God has not healed you?  Are you living in daily pain and feel like people don’t understand your struggle?  Maintaining a positive hope for the future is one of the biggest challenges for those with chronic pain or illness.   Perhaps one of these could boost your spirits if you (or someone u know) lives with a chronic illness.

For resources for those with chronic illness or chronic pain, see:

 http://www.restministries.org 

http://www.restministriessunroom.com/

http://www.joniandfriends.org

http://www.theacpa.org/default.aspx -the American Chronic Pain Assoc..

http://www.mayoclinic.com  -look up any chronic pain or illness by name

http://www.theamensolution.com/home has resources for those who want to improve their cognitive      

                   or brain health.  This was founded by Dr. Daniel Amen.

http://www.myspace.com/ & http://www.facebook.com/ have numerous groups for those w/ chronic pain or illness; just search for your illness.

Strategies for Stress, part 2

Last week, I offered 4 ways of dealing with stress.  Today, I’m offering 5 more strategies for managing your stress: 

5. Re-arrange your lifestyle.  If you’re stressed, consider ways to simplify your lifestyle.  In Matthew 11:29-30, the yoke of Jesus is light and easy, not a burden – it leads to life.  Do you really NEED what you’re thinking of buying?  Can you downshift your lifestyle and slow down?  Can you eliminate a few activities and say No more often?  If you want to simplify your life, can you give away some of the stuff in your home, shed, or storage unit?

6. Build margin in your life.   In his book Margin, Richard Swenson writes about creating space between ourselves and our limits - like the blank margin at the sides of a printed page.  Then create margin(s) in your schedule and lifestyle.  See Exodus 34:21, Isaiah 5:8, and Mark 6:30 for examples of margin in Scripture.  Don’t check your work email on your weekend or vacation.  Carve out time for yourself and your needs.  If you spend a lot of time online, consider regular breaks from or a Sabbath from the internet.  Take time for yourself and your physical and emotional needs.

7. Refuse to give up.  Stress can build up in a person’s life and become too much for one to deal with.  Signs of too much stress include: Do you resent calls from someone?  Do you feel tired often?   Are you having physical symptoms or health problems that could stem from your stress?  In I Corinthians 1:8-9  Paul was under great pressure but refused to give up.  Persevere under pressure.  Refuse to give up.

8. Practice a weekly Sabbath.  Our society has become so 24/7 that there’s no longer a clear line between our work and our home/family life and time to relax and play.  It can be tempting to sacrifice your time for yourself and God and your loved ones.  If that’s true for you, separate your work from your home/family/God-time.  A Sabbath is a time for God, worship, rest, family, and play.

9.Exercise your body.  I Corinthians 6:19 – Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.  Exercise reduces a person’s stress!  Physical activity releases physical tension and helps one sleep better.  Find a kind of exercise you enjoy, and do it regularly.

Choose 1-3 of these strategies to change your lifestyle and reduce your stress.  If someone in your life is struggling with stress, give them a copy of this.  Maybe s/he would be helped with some of these Strategies for Stress.  May God’s Spirit strengthen you and guide you.

Strategies For Stress

The word stress is usually used in a negative way, as though all stress was to be avoided.  However, stress can be positive and healthy.  Think of a stringed instrument such as a guitar or piano.  If the strings don’t have enough tension or stress, they don’t work properly.  Too much tension or stress causes the strings to break or play off pitch.  Just the right amount of tension or stress will produce beautiful music. 

Most of us need a certain amount of stress.  Without any deadlines or pressure, most of us wouldn’t get much if anything done.  Positive stress can motivate us to accomplish things.  On the other hand, too much stress will cause physical or mental health problems.  So the key is to find THE RIGHT AMOUNT of stress for yourself.  Here are some strategies for handling stress:

1. A relationship with God will help you to deal with the stress in your life.  Jesus can help you deal with anger, resentment, bitterness, guilt, and a life with Jesus will motivate you in healthy, positive ways.  Psalm 62: 1-2 says, “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.  Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”   Focus on building a personal relationship with Jesus through prayer and the Bible.   

2. Release your frustration and negative emotions to God in prayer.  Psalm 62:8 instructs us,  “Pour out your hearts to God, for God is our refuge.”  Every life has disappointments, frustrations, grief, irritations, etc.  Release your negative feelings to God in prayer. Also, release your negative feelings to a trusted friend or counselor or pastor.

3. At some point, everyone of us is mistreated or offended.  We’re all tempted to become bitter.  When we’re hurt, the temptation is to build a wall around yourself, so that you won’t get hurt again.  One antidote to bitterness is FORGIVENESS.  Even if the other person doesn’t deserve your forgiveness, forgiving him/her will improve your emotional health.  Another antidote to bitterness is GRATITUDE.  Make a list of 5-10 blessings in your life, everyday for 10-15 days; it can change how you perceive your life.  Resist becoming bitter.

4. Accept help from others.  We all want to become independent when we’re young, but some of us struggle to become interdependent as we mature.  Why do you believe you have to handle everything in your life on your own?  God provided Aaron for Moses, and Jesus had 12 disciples.  God created us to be in community, in relationships with others.  So if someone offers to help you, accept their help.  Who can you ask to help you?  If you have too much stress, take initiative to share part of it with another person(s).

Choose 1-2 of these strategies, to help you manage your stress.  I will offer more strategies next week.  May God’s Spirit strengthen you and guide you.