5 Keys to a Happy New Year: Habits of Healthy People

At this point in your life, you’re probably aware of many of your weaknesses and bad habits. Perhaps you’ve resolved to change before, only to fall back into them. You’re not the only one.
If you believe in original sin, you know we are all inherently sick. But we’re not without hope—that’s the whole point of the Gospel. God’s working in our lives, even when it’s hard to see.
In this life, our options are either to be a sick person denying help or a person in remission. To get into and stay in remission is to actively seek the remedy to our self destruction. The difference is often simply acknowledging the work to be done. One of the keys to being a happier, healthier person is simply becoming more self-aware.
Healthy, happy people are not perfect, but they make a daily effort to be better than they have been. I’m talking about operating in the conviction of sin, a humble heart and a joy found in knowing there is grace. Some of this comes in the form of learning new, better habits and attitudes. And what better time to work on implementing new habits than the start of a new year?

1. Leave the House Without Your Cell Phone

Literally. Not on airplane mode. Not on silent. Try just leaving it home.
Oddly enough, the human desire for connection has made us dependent on a machine. Most of us can’t stand in a line up for 30 seconds without checking our email or social media. Our desire for constant connection often disconnects us from our surroundings and makes us insecure when we feel alone.
But being alone is not proof of lack of value. And being constantly plugged in does not necessarily increase the impact of our lives on the world around us. Christians especially need to remember that our cell phones are not our lifeline— prayer is.

2. Accept Compliments With a Simple “Thank You”

Especially in churches, there’s often a culture of false humility, where acknowledging achievement is viewed as prideful or self-serving. But taking a compliment does not make you prideful.
We all desperately pursue affirmation (#selfie), but when we are given a compliment, we often deny it. Or we quickly dismiss it and offer a quick, surface-level compliment in return. Yuck. People don’t appreciate being dismissed when they’re sincerely trying to encourage you. And they also don’t want your cheap return compliments.
Don't treat other people like liars when they say something good about you. Let yourself feel affirmed. Start by simply saying “Thank you.” You’ll be surprised by how good it feels and how your receptivity makes others feel valued in return. It also combats the lies we are told about who we are.

3. Seek the Root of Conflict

Have you ever been triggered by something that was seemingly random or menial? Does it ever seem trivial when you looked back on it? Do you get in arguments over things you never realized lit a passion in you?
Rather than blaming the person or situation that set you off, seek out the real root of the problem. Often, the real issue usually isn't even the problem at hand. Most of us have hurts in our past that made us believe a lie or negative idea about ourselves. We live our lives with these concepts mostly buried, until someone or something suddenly digs up the wound. Then we are suddenly overcome by a fear or hurt we had been ignoring.
Taking time to reflect on our feeling and the root issues makes us aware of what we are really upset about, rather than projecting hurt onto an unrelated situation or person. This creates a more effective approach to conflict.

4. Be Willing to Say, ‘I Was Wrong’

No one likes a person who constantly makes excuses. Refusing to admit you are wrong does not make you any more right. “To err is human”— if you aren't wrong sometimes, its time to call the mothership to pick you up.
There is such power in being willing to admit you messed up or had your facts wrong. It’s another way to show yourself and display to others that your value does not come from an (impossible) infallible nature.
“To forgive is divine” has a lot of meaning to it. It rings of the attribution of true forgiveness is that offered by God—but also the importance of forgiveness in our own lives. This brings us back to letting go of guilt. We will mess up, we will be wrong, and we find freedom in forgiveness—which can only be given after an admission of guilt.

5. Let Go of Your Guilt and Shame

Stop hanging onto and replaying your mistakes. As Christians, we are invited to take sin and guilt to the cross and leave them there. Yet, so many Christians are too busy navel-gazing to let go of their condemnation—even when standing at the foot of the Cross.
Real faith is repenting and believing you are forgiven—and then acting like it. The Bible never commands us to repent and then beat ourselves up for a while. We are not our own—or one another’s judge—so it’s not healthy to act like we can determine our own righteousness.
Understanding that we are not the ultimate power is a real display of humility and will make it a lot easier to find joy despite our imperfections.
Life only moves in one direction, and that direction is forward. May you find the new year full of possibilities, of revelations of identity, and void of the insecurities robbing you of a happy, healthy life.

by Timessa Lynn Leonard

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/5-keys-happy-new-year#ECS4wU1K6kPkIpfC.99

Christmas Activities that Make You Happier,

Christmas vacation activities that will actually make you happier  Yahoo Travel  Dec. 22, 2015

Christmas vacation is supposed to be fun. But when you’re traveling with the kids or staying with the in laws it can turn out to be stressful. So here are 10 holiday vacation activities that can actually make you happier and less stressed.

  "Home Alone" starring Macaulay Culkin is a classic movie that never gets old. (20th Century Fox via AP)

1. Watch a funny holiday movie.
You know those funny Christmas flicks that come out this time every year? (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, anyone?) Well grab a cup of grandma’s hot chocolate, fire up the Netflix, and watch one, because research shows that laughing can actually improve your mood. “Stress is a fight or flight response, which makes us very serious and irritable,” explains psychologist Julie Pike. Laughing helps disrupt that. It ups your oxygen intake, which in turn stimulates the heart, lungs, and muscles, and lowers your blood pressure, according to the Mayo Clinic. “Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress,” says the Mayo Clinic.
2. Hug a loved one.
Sometimes it feels like the holidays are just an excuse to shop, but when it comes down to it, they’re really all about spending time with friends and family. So grab one of your loved ones for a big, long hug. “A sustained hug with someone you care about causes your body to release oxytocin,” a feel-good hormone, explains Pike. That in turn lowers your blood pressure and reduce stress, while boosting happiness.
3. Sprawl out on the couch.
Yes, we’re giving you permission to be a bit of couch potato this holiday, so find a comfy spot on cousin Frank’s couch and plop down. Why? Because sitting in an “expansive” position, i.e., with your arms and legs spread out, is actually a form of stress release. Of course, you only need to do it for two minutes to get the benefit, but there’s no harm in staying a little bit longer. People who sit in this position release lower levels of stress hormones than those who are all tensed up, according to Popular Science.

  Lounging in front of a fire can be a great way to decompress from the holiday stress. (iStock)

4. Be thankful.
Thanksgiving isn’t the only holiday during which we feel grateful. Maybe you’re thankful to be on a beautiful beach vacation for Christmas or grateful to be visiting relatives you don’t get to see very often. Whatever it is, write it down, says Pike: “When we focus on what is positive in the present, it helps re-orient us.”
5. Do Christmas crafts.
Whether it’s knitting a scarf on the plane, wrapping presents, or decorating a batch of Christmas cookies, crafting and creativity can increase happiness and reduce stress and anxiety. Experts believe when you find “flow” in creativity, it has effects similar to meditation. It also helps you focus on the now, rather than worrying or stressing out about what’s going on around you, explains Pike: “It keeps you in the present moment.”
6. Go Christmas caroling or sing at Church.
All that Christmas music on the radio during your road trip to grandma’s? (We’re talking to you, Mariah Carey!) Embrace it! Singing literally changes your brain chemistry, releasing endorphins and oxytocin, which boost your mood. And singing in a group — like caroling or a Church choir — is the most transformative, according to Time. Plus, research published in the Psychology of Music journal shows that singing in a choir is associated with decreased levels of anxiety. 
7. Kiss under the mistletoe.
Find yourself some mistletoe and a cute partner, and pucker up, because kissing boosts oxytocin and decreases cortisol, a stress hormone, according to research. It’s a similar effect to the hugging and other intimate pastimes. “Try to have lots of physical contact,” says Pike. Even if that means sexy time at the in laws house.
8. Take family photos.
Does staying with family in close quarters for the holidays have you at the end of your rope? Take some pictures of what’s going on: “The act of snapping photos detaches you from the emotional stress of the situation, and you become an observer, which can calm you,” says psychologist Pauline Wallin. And if you decide to post the photos on social media, find something funny to say about the situation. After all, if you’re going to laugh about it later, you may as well laugh about it now.

  Eating ham may actually chill you out. (iStock)

9. Eat ham for Christmas dinner — or roast some chestnuts.
First of all, eating in general stimulates happy chemical oxytocin, says Pike. And specifically, favorite holiday dinner foods like ham and turkey are high in the amino acid tryptophan, which your body converts to serotonin, another one of those feel-good brain chemicals. But don’t forget to have some mashed potatoes and rolls — the body needs carbs to help utilize the tryptophan. (Fun fact: Reindeer meat is actually even higher in tryptophan, but we doubt you want to eat Rudolph.) Nuts are also a good source of tryptophan, so roast those chestnuts by the open fire!
10. Chat with mom.
Ok, we know what you’re thinking — these one may seem more stress-inducing, depending on the mother. But studies show that a conversation with your mom for just 15 minutes can help lower cortisol levels and gives a big boost to oxytocin.

Longing for Water

I just finished reading Deep Down Dark: The Untold Stories of 33 Men Buried in a Chilean Mine, & the Miracle that Set Them Free, by Hector Tobar.  It's the true story of the 33 miners who survived a terrible experience of being trapped deep in a mine, after the ramp leading out to the surface was blocked by crashing rock, on Aug. 5, 2010.  All 33 miners survived the huge crash but were imprisoned in the mountain, unable to escape.  They carefully rationed a small amount of water and food, to last for 17 days.  When the bottled water ran out, they were forced to drain water from vehicles in the mine, water tinted with oil.  They all lost drastic amounts of weight, until a few were described as skin and bones.

Their hope gradually faded; several wrote farewell letters to loved ones, letters that would probably never be found.  The food ran out, along with any hope.  They were all weak; some were sick.  Then they began hearing noises which they later recognized as drills coming down from the surface, renewing their hope to live.  A small drill broke through; one miner began hitting the drill bit with a heavy hammer, to signal that they were alive.  A note to the surface told the rescuers that all 33 were still alive deep down in the dark.  The first thing the rescuers sent down in a tube, was clean bottled water, so that the 33 would no longer have to drink the tainted water from their vehicles.

(The 33 movie scheduled to come out on Nov. 13, is based on this book - Deep Down Dark by Tobar.)

In Psalm 63:1-2, David wrote, “You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
 and beheld your power and your glory.”

David wrote this while he was a fugitive in the desert.  He remembered the sanctuary of the temple in Jerusalem and longed for God’s presence that he’d experienced in the past.  Listen to the deep yearning in his prayer: “Earnestly I SEEK you;
 I THIRST for you, my whole being LONGS for you, 
in a dry and parched land 
where there is no water.”

We have an empty place in our hearts, that can only be satisfied by God.  We thirst to love and be loved by others.  Many try to fill this void in unhealthy or sinful ways.  The only way to truly satisfy this void is through God’s living water.  Jesus said, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.  Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”

This life has difficulties and hard times; it can seem like traveling throught a desert after running out of water.  We get tired, thirsty, and lonely.  We miss conversations with close friends.  There may no one to help us or encourage us.  When we are weak or lonely, this life can like a dry, weary land where there is no water. 

But we don’t need to thirst.  God can quench our thirst, fill our hearts, and fill us with his Living Water.  Remember what God has done for you in the past.  Close your eyes and imagine standing in the sanctuary before the throne of God, with flowing fountains at each side.

If you do not have a church home, you are welcome to attend First Presbyterian Church in Deport, where we are blessed with the Water of Life each Sunday, in worship at 11:30 am.  The next time, you pour a glass of water, pause to thank the One who gives the Water of Life.

Wandering in a Dry, Weary Land

In our area, there has been very little rain in recent months.  Most green plants have turned brown.  Much of the western U.S. is still suffering drought.  In other places we’ve lived through a drought, civic leaders passed restrictions against car-washes and watering a lawn; such practices were seen as a waste of a precious resource.

Have you cut back on any unnecessary use of water yet?  Last year, my brother-in-law up North installed a plastic barrel at the bottom of a gutter drain spout, to collect rain water to water the garden & flowers.  I’ve seen one house in town that uses 5-gallon buckets for the same purpose.  When water gets scarce, it’s wise to consider ways to conserve it, to make the remaining water last longer.

In the Bible, a drought was seen in a spiritual way, as a dry, thirsty period when G seems far away.  Sometimes, a drought was seen as God’s punishment or discipline on his disobedient children. 

In Psalm 63:1, David wrote, “O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  Have you been wandering in a dry, weary land? 

It would have been understandable if David had become so overwhelmed, but he had God’s promise that he would become the next King of Israel.  He knew that no matter the enemy did, the Lord was watching over him.  But when one goes through a dry, weary land for months or years, one can feel far away from God, perhaps even neglected.

Many of us, if not all, have gone through dry, weary times.  When we get discouraged by the challenges we face, it’s good for us to remember that God is stronger than the situation we face.  The Lord is our Shepherd who watches over us.  When we go through a dry, weary period, do you and I thirst for God?  Do we long for God, as David did?

In John 4, Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks this water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

If you’re going through a dry, weary time, seek the One who offers the Water of Life.  He will nourish your soul and give you strength to survive this drought.  The next time you enjoy a glass of cold, refreshing water, pause to thank the One who gives the water that wells up to eternal life.  Then seek his life.

A Story of Dean's Redemption

When Dean was a child, his parents divorced, which affected him deeply.   Dean grew up in a small town and attended a church with his Mom and sister.  After high school, he went away to a large university where he lost contact with the faith and was influenced by atheists.  As time went on, he read and learned as much as he could about atheism, and he became an outspoken advocate of atheist beliefs.

After college, Dean married his high school sweetheart and moved back to his hometown.  He got a job as a salesman at a new car dealer in a nearby city.  He and his wife had 3 children.  He continued to promote his atheist beliefs.  In his words, he knew all the reasons why belief in a god was unreasonable, and he didn’t hesitate to tell others.

One afternoon, the Gideons were giving New Testaments to children leaving the local elementary school.  When Dean arrived to pick up his children, he was upset about the children receiving the New Testaments.  He stood at a distance from the Gideons and as children walked by him, Dean took the New Testaments from the children and tore them into pieces.  How dare those Christians try to infect innocent children with their misguided beliefs.

Dean was promoted to sales manager at the car dealer.  After a few years of working hard, he was promoted to general manager of the entire dealership.  He earned more money than he’d ever dreamed of, but it came at a cost.  He worked 6 long days every week.  On his only day off, he was usually too tired to play with their children.

When the events of 9-11 happened, Dean was with his coworkers watching TV in the office.  Like many, he was shocked.  He decided that very day, that he was going to make some changes in his life, so that he could spend more time with his family.  Three months later, he resigned his job, to begin studying online at home for a new kind of work that would enable him to spend more time with his family.

A few months later, Dean’s step-father died suddenly.  Because Dean had rearranged his schedule to give him extra time for his family, he was able to spend significant time with his mother in the grieving process and help her move to a home closer to Dean’s family.

One day, Dean’s father called him.  His father had been living in Florida and had been robbed and lost all his savings.  Dean flew to Florida, helped his Dad pack up his stuff and move back to his hometown.  This enabled Dean to spend more time with his father who had some health problems.  As he looked back on things, it seemed like there was a plan to his life, and he had a feeling that a higher power was behind that plan.

That summer, Dean’s children were invited to a Vacation Bible School at a church.   Then his children wanted to attend the Sunday School at the church.  His wife later shared that God had been working in her life, and she’d decided to tell Dean that she was taking their children to church, even if he didn’t like it.  Imagine her shock when Dean suggested to her that they all attend church as a family!

As Dean learned more about the Christian faith, he decided to surrender control of his life to God, the same God that he’d try to persuade countless others to not believe in.  Later, when he and his wife joined the church, he shared his testimony with the congregation.  He began by saying, “Hi.  My name is Dean, and I’m a Christian.”

From Bitterness to Praise

Lamentations 3:22-23 is a familiar Scripture – “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  In my experience, it’s common and easy to sing “Great is Thy Faithfulness.”

The thing is, Lamentations was written at a HORRIBLE time in Israel’s history.  Jeremiah wrote it after Jerusalem was destroyed by invading Babylonians.  Imagine the Oklahoma City bombing or 9-11 attacks on NYC.  Jerusalem’s homes and businesses were destroyed.  Their gold and valuables were taken by Babylonian soldiers.  Add this factor: The foreign invading army took many of Jerusalem’s residents as prisoners back to Babylon, to work as slaves.  Many Israelites felt deserted by God and bitter. 

If you read the rest of Lamentations 3, you’ll get a sense of Israel’s grief bitterness.  It’s amazing that Jeremiah was able to praise God for his love and faithfulness in the midst of such terrible destruction.  Would you be able praise God after your business and home were looted and burned, and some of your loved ones taken away as prisoners? 

How often do the people around us disappoint us?  How many people have made promises to you, that were not kept?  Almost all of us have been disappointed by someone we loved.  But God is completely faithful.  God is 100% trustworthy.   Yet there are times when some of us have felt neglected or abandoned by God.  Maybe an unexpected loss has left you feeling hopeless.  Do you still believe that you can count on God?  We live in a world of great uncertainty and huge changes.  So many promises and guarantees have been broken.  It’s no wonder that some become skeptical, bitter or hard-hearted. 

Lamentations 3:24-26 says,”The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.”  Can you wait for the Lord?   Can you wait for the One who is loving and faithful?  If you haven’t been trusting the Lord lately, remember, the Lord is GOOD to those whose HOPE is in Him, those who seek Him.  

In a disappointing, uncertain, changing world, let us trust the Lord of heaven and earth.

Post-Traumatic Transformations

Almost all of us go through traumatic times – unemployment, cancer, loss of a loved one.  Some experience what’s been called “true trauma,” which is worse – fire, flood, a daughter disappears, a son diagnosed with HIV.  When faced with such traumas, people feel anger, guilt, sadness, frustration.

Some retreat from the world.  Many just survive.  A few turn their trauma into something good for others – what I call a post-traumatic transformation.

One time a young girl named Joan, was abducted and murdered by a neighbor.  Her mother was shattered, suicidal, and laid in bed all day.  Why get up?  Because she had 2 other children depending on her, and they needed lunch.  Then doing the next thing after that.  At time went on, she wanted to honor her daughter’s life and spirit.  She collected signatures, spoke in schools and libraries, which lead to Joan’s Law that requires life sentences for sex offenders who kill children, signed into law in 1988.

Charles Lindburgh’s 20-month-old son was kidnapped and killed in 1932.  He pressed for the Lindbergh Law which allowed federal agents to pursue kidnappers across state lines.  Candy Lightner founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD).  In 2002, Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and beheaded in Pakistan.  His parents founded fellowships for journalists, including many Muslim journalists.  These people heeded the Biblical instruction, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

God turned his own trauma into something to help many others.  When the authorities executed God’s Son, God raised Him from the dead and sent his Spirit to help his people, which inspired the apostles to do miracles in his name and spread the gospel to the world.  When the Apostle Paul was put in prison for preaching the good news of Jesus, he shared God’s Word with the guards and wrote inspirational letters to the churches that he’d started; Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, and Colossians were written from a prison cell.

For many years, I was discouraged and depressed by the chronic pain in my back and neck, as well as my fibromyalgia.  The negatives outweighed the positives.  But after I started a group to  help others with chronic illness and chronic pain, I felt such deep joy and satisfaction.  All those years of pain were being used for something good.  It was like God had redeemed all those bad experiences I’d had, and made something good to help others.

Now, consider the traumas that you’ve gone through, and how God has healed you and helped you to survive.  How can you use that experience to help others?  Maybe you know someone going through a similar experience and could offer them a word of understanding and encouragement, as well as a helping hand.  That would transform your trauma into something good that helps other people. 

As we say in Rotary Club, will it be beneficial to all concerned?  Pastor Rick Warren says that God doesn’t waste a hurt; instead, God uses our hurts to teach us to help others.

God Loves to Repurpose People.

It seems like repurposing (or re-purposing) things has become a trend.  There are so many pictures of old pallets being repurposed for deck furniture, walls, among many other uses.  Back in the Great Depression, people didn’t throw many things away because they never knew when they’d discover a way to repurpose it.  But back then, it wasn’t called repurposing; it was reusing things.

When I was a junior higher back in the 70s, I got bored during the summer.  We had an old, rusty coaster wagon that was just sitting around the garage because my siblings & I had gotten too big for it.  A friend of mine had a go-cart that was so cool, and he even let me ride it a few times.  So I decided to repurpose (again, I’d never heard of that word back then; I thought I was just reusing) some old stuff laying around the garage.  I took the wheels & axels off the coaster wagon, & attached them to a piece of plywood the appropriate size.  I used a 2 by 2 piece of wood and some clothes line to make a crude steering rod that could control the direction of the front wheels.  The only problem was that we didn’t have an extra small engine around, & I didn’t have the mechanical ability to put it on my crude go-cart anyway.  But we’d take turns pulling it uphill a block, & then riding it down the street to our garage.  It was great for going downhill.  I could never think of a way to make a brake; so we just had to put our shoes out on the pavement to slow it down to stop.  Not the safest, but the hill wasn’t that steep; so braking wasn’t a problem.  At that point, none of us in the neighborhood had yet been on a fast amusement park ride; so riding that crude co-cart was a thrill.  When my older brother Jim saw what I’d built, he was impressed with how I’d reused some old stuff from the garage to make something we could ride on like that. 

In the 80s, some of us started recycling as a way to help the environment, which was a form of repurposing some things.  I heard of a guy in Iowa who’d figured out a way to recycle used plastics into a 4 x 8 sheet the size of a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood.  He’d made a few simple hog enclosures for them, and began selling those to farmers.  He developed it into a small business.  As the years went on, more people began finding new ways to reuse or repurpose used material into a new use.  So it’s fairly common now, to find new recycled things for sale in stores.

God is also in the repurposing business.  God specializes in repurposing people.  God could take a rejected shepherd (Moses) and remake him to lead God’s people out of slavery and guide them through the desert-wilderness.  God can take a shepherd boy named David, and reuse him to kill an agnostic giant and become a famous warrior-king.  Take another look at the disciples.  Jesus repurposed a fraudulent tax-collector, a terrorist (Simon the Zealot), and uneducated, undisciplined, crude fishermen like Peter and Andrew, James & John.  After the resurrection and the Spirit’s arrival at Pentecost, these men with dubious backgrounds, became the first missionary-pastors to a society similar to ours.  They went out and taught God’s Word, healed people, escaped from the authorities who could not get them to stop talking about this Jesus of Nazareth.

Are you feeling over the hill or washed up?  Tired of the daily grind?  Do you feel like a used up plastic bottle?   The good news is that you’re a prime candidate for God’s repurposing.  God specializes in repurposing people who humbly feel like they have nothing to offer.  Matthew had cheated so many Jewish taxpayers that the priests and religious authorities never bothered to say anything to him.  Simon the Zealot was part of a group, the Zealots, who were so patriotic that they assassinated those who publicly disagreed with them; how could God have anything to do with a murderer like that?  Those fisherman never received any attention from the religious crowd because they were just blue-collar, working-class people.  No one would have predicted that these guys would be chosen by God’s Son to be sent out as God’s ambassadors. Yet God saw their potential and repurposed them to become his representatives to do amazing things in the world.  If you think you’re not worthy of God’s call, you actually are ready for God’s repurposing. 

Does Your Life Have Margins?

Richard Swenson wrote a book called Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial & Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives.  A printed page has a column of blank space along each side of every page.  We need some blank spaces in our lives; margin the space that we need between ourselves and our limits.  Do you allow yourself some free time each day?

We have a tendency to fill up every part of our schedules.  Our days and nights are full of work, meals, conversations, phone calls, texts, emails, news, interruptions, appointments, etc.  So there’s a tendency to fill up the blank spaces in our lives.  The problem with this is that when a crisis comes up, it pushes us beyond our limits, and then we suffer from stress overload.  That’s what leads to heart attacks, divorces, angry outbursts, high blood pressure, broken relationships, etc.

If your life is filled to the edges of your schedule, and you find yourself exhausted at the end of every day, you’re probably trying to do too much.  You need to develop some margins in your life – some blank space or free time between you and your limits.  What can you eliminate from your schedule?  What can you say No to?  Does that team or committee really need you?  Do you really need to work overtime so often?  How can you free up some time to relax and unwind?

I’ve learned to say No to some things, so that I can maintain enough margins in my life.  Keeping some empty space and time around the edges of your life, will help you to keep your sanity.

A Special Birthday Party

Last Sunday, I was privileged to see something special.  It was at a small church in a small town.  There was a family in which the mother & grandmother both had drug problems.  About a month ago, the 27-year-old mother overdosed.  Her 3-year-old daughter was left alone; so her great-grandmother started taking care of her.  Some members of a small church in that small town, heard about this family and decided to do something about it. 

So this small Sunday school class decided to adopt the 3-year-old child & do what they could to make her feel loved & wanted.  They helped the great-grandmother.  When they found out that the girl's birthday was coming up, they all chipped in to plan to a birthday party at the church for her.  They brought a colorful tablecloth, a beautiful cake, candles, & some presents.  When the girl arrived, she hugged the loving people there.  When they brought the girl into the room w/ the party decorations, her eyes got wide.  Her eyes took it all in, & she looked around the room at the people who prepared it.  She smiled wide.  The group sang "Happy Birthday."   The 4 candles were put on the cake, and she blew them all out with one big breath. 

Then they cut the cake, and started passing the gifts to her.

I'm not sure who was blessed more - the young girl or those who planned the party. 

Jesus said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. 

Why Do We Suffer?

This winter has been for some, a struggle to survive.  During Lent, we Christ-followers turn toward Jerusalem & the Cross, as we remember Jesus' sacrificial suffering, for us.  Remembering the Savior's sufferings, can be a time to reflect on our own suffering.  Why do we suffer?

Billy Graham deals with why God's children suffer in his book, Hope for the Troubled Heart.  One reason we all suffer is because we sin or disobey God.  Graham writes:  "If a Christian loses his temper, tells a lie, or commits a sin of any kind, he will suffer God's judgment... just as a child needs correcting, so God's children need correcting."

Sometimes, like a loving Parent, God needs to discipline us, his children.  Graham tells about his father punishing him as a child, but he knew that his father loved him.  Jesus says, "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline."  (Revelation 3:19)  A wise person considers whether his problem is deserved as God's discipline. 

Graham asks: "Can we profit from pain?"
        Remember Job?  If ever a man had trials, it was this fellow.  But this is what he         
        concluded: When God has tested me, I will come forth as gold  (Job 23:10)  This is    
        reacting positively to testing, building on it, rather than criticizing it for interfering   
        with life's normal patterns.
  
       Trials often come {because God} seeks to make us into the sort of person He   
       planned  for us to be when He first thought of us.  Like a sculptor,  He begins with a   
       lump of marble.  But He has in mind a picture of what He intends to create.  He 
       breaks, cracks, chisels, and polishes until one day there emerges His vision, like   
       Michelangelo's David.  At the moment, His sculpture of us is incomplete.  God has   
       not yet finished with us.  (page 91)

Sometimes we bring a problem on ourselves.  Ever know a man who has an affair, and then his marriage fell apart?  She smoked for years, and now she has breathing problems.  A parent allowed a child to what whatever he pleased for years, and now wonders why he cannot be managed. 

Suffering deepens our relationship with God.  Graham writes, "Nothing will drive us to our knees quicker than than trouble... God hears our prayers, but our prayers must be in accordance with His will." (page 92)  Our problems can cause us to ask if we're praying for the right things.  Our struggles force us to look deeper.

Take another look at these causes of suffering, and ask yourself: Why am I suffering?  Accept responsibility for what you've said or done.  Seek to learn from your suffering.  In this season of journeying toward Jesus' sufferings and death, let us remember His prayer on the night before He was crucified, "Not my will, but your will be done."  Our problems keep us humble and cause us to pray.  Struggles can lead us to us to a deeper relationship with the Savior.  Let God's Spirit lead you.

Church: Joining Your Imperfect Self to Other Imperfect Selves

By Scott Sauls 
When the local church falls short of Jesus’ vision for the church as a “radiant bride” reflecting his glory, a “city on a hill” that shines with attractive good works, “the salt of the earth” that prevents decay and promotes flourishing, and “the light of the world” that makes dark places less dark, some Christians are tempted to leave the church for some other alternative.

For many such Christians, the common refrain is, “I want to be part of something that’s more like the New Testament Church.”

I always scratch my head when I hear Christians say this. In several incidences, the actual “New Testament Church” was less attractive, less authentic, less flexible, less loving, less truthful, less beautiful, and less Christ-like than the church of today. If anyone has ever been tempted to hit the eject button on the local church in favor of creating their own, more robust faith experience, it was people who were part of the actual New Testament church. It is because so many first century Christians had a foot out the door that the writer of Hebrews urged them to not give up meeting together, “as is the habit of some” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

One “New Testament Church” that we would all be tempted to abandon was the church at Corinth.
One of the most celebrated passages in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13, famously known as “the love chapter.” In this magnificent chapter, we are told that love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast, and it is not arrogant or rude. It is not demanding or irritable, and it does not hold a grudge. It resists things that are wrong and celebrates things that are true. It bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things.

Wonderful, right?

Did you know that when Paul wrote to the Corinthians about love, he didn’t have wedding ceremonies or cross stitch art in mind? Did you know that he was actually rebuking them because each of the attributes of love was something that they lacked?

The Corinthian church, a prominent “New Testament Church,” was filled with problems. A brief journey through Paul’s first letter to this community of misfits tells us that they were known for judging each other harshly, creating major divisions over minor theological issues, committing adultery, initiating frivolous lawsuits, divorcing without biblical grounds, parading “Christian liberty” in front of people with a bruised conscience, ignoring the needs of the poor, and the list goes on. Paul could have very easily written off this community. He could have very easily thrown in the towel.
Why didn’t Paul throw in the towel on the New Testament Church? For the same reason that Jesus didn’t thrown in the towel.

Church is family.

Membership in a local church means nothing more and nothing less than this: Joining your imperfect self to many other imperfect selves to form an imperfect community that, through Jesus, embarks on a journey toward a better future…together.

Surprisingly, Paul begins his confrontational first letter to the Corinthians with affirmation and assurance. In spite of their many flaws, sins, inconsistencies, hypocrisies, and weaknesses, he is hopeful for them, not because they are stellar people but because Jesus is a stellar Savior. Jesus will complete the work that he began in them, and Paul knows this. So, instead of hitting eject on them, he doubles down on his involvement with them. Instead of shunning and shaming them, he speaks to them as his beloved brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters in the faith. Instead of running from them, he runs toward them. He names them not according to their failures but according to their redemptive status, using words like “saints” and “sanctified.” He thanks God always for them and reminds them that Jesus will sustain them until the end. Though they are messed up now, Jesus has a plan to transform them into people who are glorious and guiltless.

Paul looks at the broken local church and envisions beauty. He looks at the sinful local church and envisions sainthood. He looks at the undesirable local church and is overcome with desire for her flourishing. Paul thinks about the church in the same way that Jesus does. He thinks about the church as family. Daughters and sons of God, with whom he is well pleased. The bride of Christ, to whom he has betrothed himself forever. Sisters and brothers to one another, fellow heirs of the Kingdom.

Family.

As Saint Augustine once said, sometimes “the Church is a whore…but she is still my Mother.”

Not only is the Church our Mother, She is also Jesus’ wife.

By Scott Sauls   http://scottsauls.com/2014/07/10/church-whore-still-mother/  

A Pilgrim Song -Psalm 130

Psalm 130 The Message (MSG)

A Pilgrim Song

130 ^1-2 Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life!
    Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears!
    Listen to my cries for mercy.

^3-4 If you, God, kept records on wrongdoings,
    who would stand a chance?
As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit,
    and that’s why you’re worshiped.

^5-6 I pray to God—my life a prayer—
    and wait for what he’ll say and do.
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord,
    waiting and watching till morning,
    waiting and watching till morning.

^7-8 O Israel, wait and watch for God—
    with God’s arrival comes love,
    with God’s arrival comes generous redemption.
No doubt about it—he’ll redeem Israel,
    buy back Israel from captivity to sin.

One Who Comes Alongside to Help

by Stan Ott:
 
I was waiting  in the hospital for a routine blood test when I became aware of a strained mumbling voice nearby. Looking up I saw a good-looking man in his early 40's in a wheelchair having difficulty speaking and clearly sitting uncomfortably. An older gentleman, almost certainly his dad, was trying to arrange a supportive pillow behind his head. Then I saw the sign on the wall next to them, "Speech Therapy."

Something about it was unspeakably sad. I do not know if he is an injured veteran or suffering from some terrible affliction but this young man in the prime of life is in a deep hole and his father is in there with him.

As I was heading out of the hospital I was immensely aware of the gift of health and then of the thought, “Go back and say something.” I wondered what that would be and if it would be invasive. I paused puzzling and then headed for the exit except I found my legs taking me back the way I had come.

I knew somehow my mind was not directing my steps and I wondered what I would say. I walked right up to the old gentleman and his son looked them in the eye and said, "I feel impelled to tell you I am praying for you. May God bless you." The gentleman immediately and sincerely replied, “Thank you,” as he continued to adjust the pillow for his uncomfortable son.

This episode had nothing to do with me. My gesture of concern may have taken five seconds. That father is offering care 24 hours a day every day. The true paraclete, the one who comes alongside to help, comes alongside for the long haul.

God did want me to see something and to say something. I left overwhelmed with the feeling of sadness for this family and the deep awareness of those close to me and others who are in similar places of suffering. 

It may be a cliché to say it, but when our Lord said these words, he actually meant them, " “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens,” Matthew 11:28* "...weep with those who weep,” Romans 12:15 and “Comfort, O comfort my people” Isaiah 40:1.

by Stan  Ott
Feb. 17, 2015
Perspective